Literal:
Ever since the move last week, my fecal matter has developed a new odor. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a pleasant change or anything. My shit doesn't suddenly smell like flowers but it doesn't smell like my crap anymore either. It's a poop smell I've encountered in public restrooms, but never from my own ass. Lately though, each deuce I drop surprises me so I thought maybe blogging about it would help me adjust to the new #2 development. I don't understand why this has happened. My diet is the same; I'm still eating plenty of peanut butter & beans. The only thing I can think of is the introduction of Orange Pop into my life. I've always enjoyed it, but lately I've gotten hooked. I can't imagine that would have this effect though. My favorites are Crush & Sunkist, but the smaller companies like Dr. Brown's & Nehi are pretty good too.
Metaphorical:
France just finished a rather mediocre (read really shitty) display in their opening match against Romania. The final score was 0-0 & I going to have to blame Domenech (the coach). They looked better towards the end when the younger players came on, but by starting w/ Anelka, Makelele, & Thuram, he really went for the old folks. They're going to need a jolt of creativity, namely going w/ more younger players & moving Ribery into a more central role if they plan to get out of the group stage. Of course, a draw today in the Italy v Netherlands match will leave things all even, but I can't imagine Romania will get a draw out of their games w/ either of them. As for the official Visions of Ypsi Player of the Day, I'll have to wait until after the Italy/Netherlands game because no one from France or Romania did enough to warrant the honor. As for the 1st 2 days of the tournament, I forgot to do this so in retrospect I need to name the players of the days now. On Day 1, I have to go w/ Pletikosa, the Croatian goalie. After seeing only 1 of the games yesterday, I feel a little awkward awarding this, but considering how well he played, we're going w/ Podolski, the German striker who notched up a brace against Poland.
Ever since the move last week, my fecal matter has developed a new odor. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a pleasant change or anything. My shit doesn't suddenly smell like flowers but it doesn't smell like my crap anymore either. It's a poop smell I've encountered in public restrooms, but never from my own ass. Lately though, each deuce I drop surprises me so I thought maybe blogging about it would help me adjust to the new #2 development. I don't understand why this has happened. My diet is the same; I'm still eating plenty of peanut butter & beans. The only thing I can think of is the introduction of Orange Pop into my life. I've always enjoyed it, but lately I've gotten hooked. I can't imagine that would have this effect though. My favorites are Crush & Sunkist, but the smaller companies like Dr. Brown's & Nehi are pretty good too.
Metaphorical:
France just finished a rather mediocre (read really shitty) display in their opening match against Romania. The final score was 0-0 & I going to have to blame Domenech (the coach). They looked better towards the end when the younger players came on, but by starting w/ Anelka, Makelele, & Thuram, he really went for the old folks. They're going to need a jolt of creativity, namely going w/ more younger players & moving Ribery into a more central role if they plan to get out of the group stage. Of course, a draw today in the Italy v Netherlands match will leave things all even, but I can't imagine Romania will get a draw out of their games w/ either of them. As for the official Visions of Ypsi Player of the Day, I'll have to wait until after the Italy/Netherlands game because no one from France or Romania did enough to warrant the honor. As for the 1st 2 days of the tournament, I forgot to do this so in retrospect I need to name the players of the days now. On Day 1, I have to go w/ Pletikosa, the Croatian goalie. After seeing only 1 of the games yesterday, I feel a little awkward awarding this, but considering how well he played, we're going w/ Podolski, the German striker who notched up a brace against Poland.
Pletikosa... ready to crush some skulls
8 comments:
You should try adding beets to your diet. Not only do the wonders of free trade froderlings and organic houskanii frutuperate the high-fiber and free-radical scavenging qualities of foncabulours... they also turn your poo magenta.
Maybe it's a quantity thing, but I had two baked beets the other night. The next morning, not only did the delightful pink color of my morning piss get me wondering if I was bleeding into my bladder, but an hour later after a dooker I stood up from the throne, only to bear witness to trippy excrement. The "underwater beet halo" occurred as the purpleness slowly dissolved out of the top half of the two-tone turd, making for the closest I've ever gotten to taking a picture of it. I think it would have done pretty well as a submission to Rate My Poo.
Of course, I imagine it would be possible to improve on this by adding corn for a tri-color effect...
I think it's more likely the smell of the new house, or maybe something up with your nose. I haven't noticed you smelling like a stranger. Not that I go in there and sniff around, mind you... but thats just something you notice.
Didn't you know that most manufacturers of orange pop put in asparagus juice as a viscosity agent?
If that were the case, my pee would smell different.
Perhaps it's the water? Regardless of being still in the city, the pipes may change the chemical make-up of the water slightly.
Or perhaps it's just that you are a weird poopsmellin mo'fo.
Maybe your just gross...
Beets??? oh honestly!!! do boys ever grow up?? (in all honesty I do have tears from laughing so hard). Maybe the high fructose corn syrup (from all the sodapop) poop is what makes the public restroom smell?
PS
Sad pandas RE France--what a bummer
Maybe "your" in need of a spelling lesson.
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