Donetsk Don't Tell

The Soccer Aspect of this Post
Arsenal continue their amazing run in the Champions League yesterday by beating Shaktar Donetsk 5-1 in London which brings their goal tally in the competition to 14 in three games. Awesome! Not only did they score 5, but they were scored by 5 different people: Song, Nasri, Fabregas, Wilshire, & Chamakh. The goal they conceded, 8 minutes from the end, was scored by Eduardo. He had played for Arsenal for the last few years before leaving this past summer. He suffered a nasty multiple fracture that kept him out of the squad for over a year, so seeing him get goal was nice too.

The Politics Aspect of this Post
In other news, Don't Ask Don't Tell has been in the news lately, & it seems to finally be on its last legs. Dan Choi has re-enlisted & the courts seem to have done their job. We'll see. Of course, the real reason I'm discussing it is because it fit so nicely into the title. And because it will work as a happy transition into a little fun talk about the election. With all of the ballot proposals coming up next month, I thought you might enjoy this little link: Ballotopedia. It's a little wiki that can keep us all up to date on them, including Califoria's attempt to decriminalize weed & Oklahoma's attempt to make English the state's official language, as the elction gets closer. Enjoy... & dn't say I never gave you nuthin'.

Let's Talk About Bond Songs, Baby

Encore Action has been showing James Bond films almost every night for a couple months. Of course, this means I've been watching a lot lately. Last night, for instance, Live & Let Die was on, followed by The Spy Who Loved Me. This got me thinking about the quality of the theme songs these films have sported over the years. I then, obviously, realized I needed to rank the Top 5. Before we get to that though, here's a little bit about a couple that didn't make the cut. "Tomorrow Never Dies" is the only Bond theme sung by someone who has had her ass a little bit groped by @ least 1 of the writers for Visions of Ypsi. (Actually, I was pushing her out of my way & accidentally touched her ass so it might not qualify as a "grope.") "Goldeneye" is the only Bond film to have a theme song sung by someone whose best theme song wasn't for a Bond film; Tina Turner should have given up on film themes after her awesome performance of "We Don't Need Another Hero" for Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. The other reason "Goldeneye" gets special mention is because, while it was performed by Tina Turner, it was written by Bono & The Edge. Here we have a case of the entertainment industry tying to create the perfect song, ie: too many cooks in the kitchen. Lastly, Rita Coolidge, Rita Coolidge may have done it for Willie Nelson, & "All Time High" is a cool song, her country stuff in the 1970's was just so much better that it seems like a let-down.

Before we get to the list, we need to set down a few guidelines. Songs have been selected based on 3 categories: relationship to the content of the film, representation of the artist's general catalogue, & all around awesomeness. And now, your Visions of Ypsi Top 5 James Bond Themes:
5) "Goldfinger: It's a weird song & hard to believe it could have been a hit. Never the less, it rose to #8 on the US charts in 1964.

4) "Nobody Does it Better" Carley Simon's song from The Spy Who Loved Me is good stuff. Her voice is perfect w/o the cheesy '70's qualities found in many of her other songs. Of course, that means it doesn't represent her other work very well... hence 4th rather than 2nd.


3) "For Your Eyes Only" I never assumed Sheena Easton would get props on this site, but props where props are due. It's a cool song, & it works well w/ the movie. I've always really liked it.


2) "Live & Let Die" Many people would complain about this because they feel that Sir Paul should top the list. That however, would be an inaccurate claim. It's a great song, but it doesn't represent the complete Wings repertoire.


1) "A View to a Kill" This song scores high in all 3 criteria. It's perfect for a mid-80's Bond film, it sounds like everything else Duran Duran recorded, & it is simply awesome.

Archie Comics

Who's the real king in queen Archie's world? Hooper X suggested that it is Jughead, but it may not be Jughead for long. In the September issue of Veronica, Veronica #202, Kevin Keller moves to Riverdale. He is apparently Riverdale's 1st openly gay resident. Considering the population of Riverdale, that seems hard to believe, but I guess the possibility of gay people Riverdale never occurred to the gang. On breaks @ Nicola's, I've read a few Archie books, but I hadn't noticed this new one. I hope there are still a few left on Friday when I go in there again.In this issue, Veronica has a thing for the new kid in school, Kevin, but he obviously isn't interested in her. Jughead, out of jealousy (& maybe homosexual panic) develops a plan to get revenge on veronica for liking a gay guy more than she likes Jughead. The plan involves not letting her in on Kevin's homosexuality in order to see how long they can go laughing behind her back. Nice work, guys. "Ha ha ha... she likes a fag and doesn't know it!" Real classy. Of course, by the end it all works out & they all become friends as we learn that we should all tolerate the gays in out community too (and not a moment too late). But only if we really, really have to, right Arch? Here's a fun little story about it from Talk of the Nation.

Four Nice, Young Boys from Liverpool

And no, I'm not talking about Everton's Reserve back line or some random group of strikers who were never given a chance @ Liverpool under Rafael Benítez. I'm talking about The Beatles. Rolling Stone just released a list of the 100 Greatest Beatles Songs of all time. It's available in a fancy oversize issue w/ little fun facts about the songs (mostly just summary of the fun facts that we all learned in the Anthology series & the fun facts we learned growing up as members of the human ace). Here's the top 20:
1. "A Day in the Life"
2. "I Want to Hold Your Hand"
3. "Strawberry Fields Forever"
4. "Yesterday"
5. "In My Life"
6. "Something"
7. "Hey Jude"
8. "Let It Be"
9. "Come Together"
10. "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"
11. "A Hard Day's Night"
12. "Norwegian Wood"
13. "Revolution"
14. "She Loves You"
15. "Help"
16. "I Saw Her Standing There"
17. "Ticket to Ride"
18. "Tomorrow Never Knows"
19. "Lucy in he Sky w/ Diamonds"
20. "Please Please Me"A couple of the songs seem a bit high on the list & while "She Loves You" is historically important, I don't know if it's really that great of a song. Ditto that w/ "Please Please Me." A couple months ago, RS released an updated version of their 500 Greatest Songs of all time list on which the Beatles songs are placed in a different order: "A Day in the Life" is the 6th Beatles song on that list (after "Hey Jude," "Yesterday," "I Wanna Hold Your Hand," "Let it Be," & "In My Life." This contradiction seems to be raising some eyebrows in the Beatles fan/blogging community, but we must realize they used different critics & musicians to compose the lists so they were bound to differ.My real concern isn't in the slight differences but in the glaring omissions. As if a top 100 Beatles songs list isn't stupid enough considering that they only recorded about 200 originals in total (@ least 200 released on official Beatles records). It's an obvious money grab from RS sure to be followed up w/ yet another ridiculous compilation released before X-mas. Of the glaring omissions, "It's All Too Much," "Savoy Truffle," "Cry Baby Cry," & "Revolution #9" are the most glaring in my eyes. To suggest that "I Should Have Known Better" & "Ticket to Ride" are better than "#9" & "Savoy Truffle" is just sheer folly. Here's my Top 20 Beatles Songs: 1. "A Day in the Life"
2. "Helter Skelter"
3. "Revolution #9"
4. "Across the Universe"
5. "Tomorrow Never Knows"
6. "Strawberry Fields Forever"
7. "Rain"
8. The Abby Road Medley ("You Never Give Me Your Money" through "The End")
9. "She Said, She Said"
10. "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"
11. "Day Tripper"
12. "Come Together"
13. "Here, There, and Everywhere"
14. "Gotta Get You into My Life"
15. "Savoy Truffle"
16. "It's All too Much"
17. "Glass Onion"
18. "I Wanna Hold your Hand"
19. "Lucy in the Sky w/ Diamonds"
20. "Something"I know this list is no less problematic than the RS list, but that's OK... I'm really just interested in know what y'all's list would look like. Think about it for a few minutes & then let's see your top 20 Beatles songs in the comments section! John digs a sporran

Lost: The final episode final thoughts in a final post

The review by Davie Bianculli on Fresh Air deserves a 2nd (or 1st) look. Check it out because it really puts the final episode in perspective. After the show, Matthew Fox, among many other cast members, was on Jimmy Kimmel. He claimed years ago that he always knew how the show would end, but it turns out he meant the final seen of his death w/ his eye closing in the bamboo field just as it opened there when the show started 6 seasons ago. I highly doubt he actually knew that the flash-sideways timeline was actually more like some Limbo/Purgatory/holding facility. When the show started, people thought maybe the island was just that sort of place, but the producers repeatedly denied that angle. As it turns out, they pulled the wool over our eyes. The island was the real world & the real world was the spiritual holding facility. Harold Perrineau was also on Kimmel. He seemed to clear up the "why wasn't Michael in the church @ the end" question pretty well. He was never redeemed & is then doomed to wander the island forever whispering things to people. The whispers were explained in all of 4 seconds a few weeks ago when Michael talked to Hurley in the jungle. If that didn't bother people, then the ending should certainly not raise any eyebrows.

Over all, I have many problems w/ the entire final season, but I certainly can't put all the anger on the 1 episode. It reminds me of Star Trek V in that they needed to explain more than they had to for & did their best to squeeze it all in. If you'll recall, Star Trek V features an awkward alliance between Kirk & a Klingon general. They clearly wanted to get to the Klingon treaty that eventually leads to Worf being on the Enterprise, but rushed it too much. The final episode of Lost is by no means bad like Star Trek V, but the rushed explanations are the same.

Along w/ the connections to Star Trek V there was also some Star Trek II things. namely, Jack putting the plug back into the yellow well thing. It was exactly like Spock putting the mains on-line. The good of the many.... The funeral thing was a lot like Finnegan's Wake... from what I've been able to make out of Finnegan's Wake. It was also like the funeral scene in Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader. It's a recent graphic by Neil Gaiman in which Batman dies & all of the main characters (good & bad) speak @ his funeral & claim responsibility for his death. (Alfred's story is pretty good, btw.) Ben's redemption @ the end reminded me a lot of Celie's husband Albert's in The Color Purple. He's just suddenly a semi-decent guy. It's odd, but it strangely works.


What we did learn amounts to this:
* Ben turns out alright which is what I was hoping for all along
* Richard starts aging again & leaves the island w/ Kate, Clair, Sawyer, & Frank... I wonder what he'll do next. Here's a little something for the comment section: in what fields could Richard succeed?
* Widmore & Ben were basically on the same side all along.
* Clair will be alright which suggests the temple-folk didn't really know what they were talking about which is what I assumed all along. That Degen dude pissed me off.
* Anna Lucia wasn't in the church which means she apparently never found her redemption even though she helped the fugitives (Kate, Sayid, & Desmond) escape.
* Being crossed off the cave list wasn't very important. It was just a line of chalk through a name (wee might have gotten that last week, but it was a funny revelation none the less).

What we didn't learn:
* What the fuck was the yellow glowing stuff? And is it similar to the stuff in Marcellus Wallace's briefcase?
* What's up w/ Walt?
* why was Desmond weird w/ electro-magnetism? Did the hatch explosion make him special like Bruce Banner w/ the gamma rays or was he already special and therefore able to survive the hatch explosion?
* How did Mikhail lose his eye? (I didn't really expect to get this info anyway)
* Daniel's time in A2? other than the 5 minutes it took him to decide that blowing up the bomb was a good idea, what was he doing?
* Did the 2 hot chicks in the Looking Glass ever get it on?
* If Ben & Widmore were basically on the same side all along, was Season 4 ridiculous? If their main job was protecting the island & ensuring the Man in Black didn't leave, then why was their struggle important one way or the other? As long as it's getting done, why does it matter who is doing it?

With all of these unanswered issues, a follow-up movie is almost certain. Who will sign on though, & more importantly, what will it be called?
* Lost: The Motion Picture
* Lost: The Man in Black Strikes Back
* Lost: Fire Walk w/ Ben
* Lost: Jack Wants to Believe
* Lost: Jack & Juliet & Kate & Sawyer
* Lost: Big & Carrie Go to the South Pacific (I like this one because Kim Catrall could merge her characters from Sex & the City & Star Trek VI & maybe be some ancient Egyptian mannequin again too)

God & the Tigers or A Coke & a Smile

While that crazy-ass facebook group praying for the death of Obama was circulating yesterday, I also came across another crazy-ass situation. I saw this bumper sticker... for those who don't want to follow the link, it says, "God bless our troops... especially the snipers." I don't get it. Is it asking God to bless (AKA forgive) the snipers for their aggressive behavior? I doubt it. I don't usually have a problem w/ "bless the troops" type claims in that I assumed they implied protection. But the snipers aren't really in the same danger as the other soldiers. Hiding in a tree & picking people of who don't even know they're there seems like a pretty safe job. I think that if I ever enlisted, I'd certainly choose sniper over "dude who busts into a bombed out basement w/o knowing who is waiting." I don't mean this as an attack on snipers; I don't want them to get shot, I just think the bumper-sticker was odd. Why single them out like that. Is this suggesting that the owner of the sticker doesn't want the other members of the armed forces to receive an equal amount of blessings?

When I was i high school, a Priest (Fr. Wheeler) would lead a team prayer before the matches, but I always assumed it was a pray for a safe game... not for a victory. I never assumed God really gave a shit about who won or lost our high school soccer games. Dan has also been known to lead a prayer before Verde FC matches, & while I didn't take part, I assumed it was a similar situation: a prayer for safety & a good match. If I believed in God, I imagine God would certainly want to see a good game w/ beautiful passing & strong tackles... right? Who wouldn't?Back in 1984, there was a popular slogan 'round these [arts that some of you might recall... "Bless You, Boys!" This sports "prayer" is a little more ambiguous than Dan's or Fr. Wheeler's pre-match prayers. It was cool that they won the series & all, but if God was really concerned w/ the outcome of the MLB post-season & was a Tigers fan, would God really have let us suffer for the last 26 years? 2006 was close, but if God wanted the Tigers to win a few years back, I'm he'd have figured out a way to pull it off.

God may not be a Tigers fan (even God has to know when to throw in the towel... The entire Pantheon of gods must have given up on the Lions back in the mid-70s... but I'm no God. And after last night's victory, I think it may be time to make the call. That's right folks, it's now the time to announce your Visions of Ypsi 2010 Tiger! Before we do that though, you can refresh you Visions of Ypsi Tigers memory here.Phil Coke is it! It's not so much his ability as his name, his ridiculous hair, & his name. I definitely need to get a Coke shirt. I was waffling between Valverde (his name has my team's name in it), Austin Jackson (his name has not 1 but 2 Southern cities in it), & Dontrell Willis (he looks like a cross between Sol Campbell & someone w/ an internal head injury... I dig that.

Looking gift horses in mouths

Wonder Woman, Storm, Catwoman, Rogue.... Their pants have always been nearly non-existent in order to sell female heroes to 12 year old boys. When Star Trek: The Motion Picture came out, I remember thinking, "The future is gonna be sweet w/ the tight pants all the sexy, hairless chicks* will be wearing." By the time Star Trek: TNG was on, the thinking sort of shifted to "Come on... no one is really going to wear pants that tight in the future." Of course, this year my thoughts have changed a bit again as those once futuristic tight, tight pants have become a reality. Back in the mid-80s, the girls were wearing tight legging type things, but always w/ long sweaters over them. It never occurred to people that the legging things could stand alone as pants in their own right.

This year, running/yoga attire has merged w/ basic going to class or the grocery store attire into some weird camel-toe show-off sessions. Not only are the pants tighter, but they've become thinner. I now I shouldn't be so concerned (in fact, I should probably just sit back & enjoy the show), & I know I've never been the standard bearer for an appropriate fashion sense, but it's a bit ridiculous. I feel that if I can pick your whoo-ha out of a pussy-line-up, your pants might be too tight. Clearly, this is a trend designed by a couple D&D/Tasha Yar fans... & young women across the county have bought into it like fucking lemmings... lemmings in really tight pants.

Oh, & while we're on the topc of hot, hot women in tight, tight pants, I'd like to remind you all that Staphanie has created a new blog. Be sure to check it out!

*Deltans, the specie of Lt. Ilia, have no body hair other than eye brows & lashes. Their evolution has taken them to some glorious future w/o pubes or old man ear-hair. Of course, afte she became possesed by V'ger, she wore no pants at all.

A few videos before the State Police story

The 2012 prophecy @ it's worst!

Werner Herzog reads Madeline???

Barry and Levon w/ sock puppets???

If You're a Nerd Like I'm a Nerd...

Like many of you who know what's up, we rewatched the 1st 5 seasons of Lost over the last couple months in order to get ready for tomorrow's big Season 6 Premier. Along w/ the rewatch, you should check out some of the better parodies. I found a couple on Jorge Garcia's blog. The first one uses the Petula Clark song, "Downtown," in a fun way... & it's a fucking Petula Clark parody! And I was just thinking the other day that we don't get enough Petula Clark parodies... dreams do come true, my friends. The second one is an extended Italian family in Brooklyn (I don't know for sure that they're in Brooklyn; I'm going on stereotypes here... it could be Jersey or Philly too)reenacting the 1st 5 season in about 5 minutes... it's odd. After that, there's the Mad TV season 1 parody & then the coup de grace, the sweet, sweet, Star Trek parody: Star Trek: The Lost Generation. Oh, & here is Wendy's list of things we need to learn... it's not exhaustive, nor will we get everything, but it's a good list none-the-less. And why not read a list... Jacob made a few, Ben made a few, I imagine Richard has made more than his fair share of lists @ one time or another, Hurley made at least one... read Wendy's too.

On the down side, I have a bad feeling about Season 6. I don't think we're gonna get many of the explanations for which we've been so patiently waiting.It just doesn't seem like they'll have time to get to everything. I'm sure we'll get Adam & Eve, the Smoke Monster, & Richard, but Horace & Ann Arbor... I doubt it... we'll keep our fingers crossed though.

So now, do what Andre does: order up some Chinese food, get a 4-pack of imported stout, & prepare to be a little let down by the parodies.

Answers

Italian Family

Mad TV

Star trek

Holiday Post #3: I'm a Lumberjack & I'm OK

Faithful readers will be in no way surprised to learn that we're going to Ida, MI tomorrow to get a X-Mas tree. This will mark the 7th straight year we've gotten our tree from Matthes Evergreen Farm. The place is really great. Not only do I get to participate in the manly art of cutting down a tree, but we then get to participate in the manly art of browsing the Old Ladies' Country X-Mas Craft Area (that might not be the official name... I'll have to check). They also feature a stage where local musicians perform all afternoon in the main barn (where they (the Matthes people... not the performers) also serve Hot chocolate, coffee, & snacks. There's a hay-ride, pony rides, a petting zoo, & the "Wreath Shop" where they sell home made decorations... & where the kids see Santa. It's been the same Santa dude every year, & unfortunately, I think Solstice & Aiden still actually believe he's "the real deal." I've been dropping hints for years, but they're being really stubborn about it. Speaking of Santa, the Wikipedia link to Santa suggests that in Welsh he is referred to as Siôn Corn which translates as Chimney John... so there's a fun little fact for you. Never say Visions of Ypsi doesn't give back to its readers! We're also giving back to the readers by giving y'all this link to the Christmas in Ida Festival & Parade of Lights. Over the 7 years we've been going down there, we had no idea that they had this huge festival each year. It's happening tomorrow in downtown Ida, so maybe we'll see you there.And speaking of giving back, we're still accepting nominations for the Visions of Ypsi Celebrity MILF of the Year Contest. Next week, we'll compile a list of the nominees, post the mini-bios, & start the voting. The nominees so far include Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Chalke, & Adriana Lima. Alessandra Ambrosio missed the cut-off by a week & Alyson Hannigan missed it by about 6 months.

Urban Farming

After hearing all sorts of good things about the chickens from Daye et al., Stephanie has been wanting to try it. I've always been more inclined towards pigs or llamas, but this week, the Ypsi City Council approved an ordinance allowing for bee keeping. A couple of Langstroth hives in the back of the yard would be pretty sweet... get it.. sweet, you know, like honey? The main thing standing in our way is the initial start-up money. I'm not really down w/ the idea of a full on working beet farm, like Dwight, but having a few useful animals around would be a nice change of pace from all the cats/dogs/squirrels in the neighborhood. And, of course, Sherlock Holmes moved to Portsmouth when he retired from his London sleuthing & started keeping bees. Those last few stories aren't very good, but the bee-keeping stuff is pretty interesting. Why Portsmouth? Because Doyle spent time there also keeping bees (& helping to start Portsmouth FC & he actually played goalie for a little while before it became a professional side). Visions of Ypsi is proud to bring you all the soccer/Sherlock Holmes/Bee Minutiae you can handle. This also brings up a new paper topic seeing as there are no articles specifically about Holmes' beekeeping, & nothing about Holmes' relation to nature in general since a West Virginia University Philological Papers article from 1949. Weird. I imagine there are references in books though... I'll keep you posted.

Holiday Post #1: What's w/ the Wig?

Embedding has been disabled for this video, but you should definitely check it out. I keep reading horrible reviews of his X-Mas album, but everything I've heard from it is great. Here's the fun 1st video from Christmas in the Heart: "Must Be Santa Clause." Check it out and enjoy the ridiculous list of reindeer names that includes (for some unknown reason) recent presidents. Not to mention, the ridiculous wig that Dylan is wearing.

In other holiday news, it might be time to start sending your nominations for the Visions of Ypsi Celebrity MILF of the Year Award, & as we're getting towards Life Day, be sure to watch the Star Wars Holiday Special. The official site has been updated since the last time I checked it out... last year I suppose. Here's the first ten minutes. You can then follow the links to watch the rest. Be sure to check out the Boba Fett cartoon & the sweet Jefferson Starship cameo... oh, & of course, Bea Arthur, Harvey Korman, & the Princess Leia song @ the end.

The Boss & the Big Man

Last spring, @ Nicola's books, I came across an advance of Clarence Clemons' memoir, Big Man, & wondered who would ever read such a book. I grabbed it for John, my boss @ Plum because he's a huge Springsteen fan, but I don't think even he ever read it. Fast-forward to a week & a half ago when people @ Nicola's were wondering who was going to work the "Bruce event." Here's how the conversation went:
Jack: "Who's workin' the Bruce event?"
Me: "Bruce who?" (by the way no one seemed to want to work it as it was going to be crazy w/ fans, I assumed that maybe Bruce Feiler, the Walking the Bible guy, was coming)
Jack: "Springsteen, The Boss, next week @ The Palace."
Me: "Yeah, right... seriously, Bruce who?"
Nicola: "Clarence Clemons is getting local stores to do his book events @ their concerts rather than contracting w/ a major company like Borders or Barnes & Noble. He asked us to do it."

As it turns out, the union rules @ the Palace state that only Palace employees can sell stuff, so my job is to bring the books out there, sign them over to the Palace people, hang w/ Clarence Clemons while he signs them, watch the show & then bring the extras back w/ a check for whatever sells.

Nicola: "Are you sure you want to do this? It's gonna be a pretty late night."
Me: "Um... yeah."
Nicola: "It's gonna be loud."
Me: Um...."

The most shocking thing about this is that it fell to me. I don't understand why no one else wanted to do this. I've never been a huge Springsteen fan, but I dig his politics, & everyone says his live shows are amazing... so it should be fun. Not to mention, he;'s written a few pretty decent songs too. In fact, tonight, he's apparently playing Born to Run in its entirety. I've never been a huge fan supporter of the "play an entire album" approach to live shows, but it should be cool. Even when Phil Lesh played a series of GD albums during his May '08 run @ the Warfield, when he played 2 albums a night (Grateful Dead & Anthem of the Sun; Aoxomoxoa & Live Dead; Workingman's Dead & American Beauty; & finaly Skull Fuck & Dead Set), I thought it took away from the spontaneity. Tonight should be a blast though. I'll report back tomorrow w/ a full review... pics & a set-list.

Things I learned this Weekend (W/ Halloween Post #2) or Holy Shit! Miley Deleted her Twitter!

Along with that adorable little rap classic, I also learned, via Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, that those of you w/ dogs should be checking this site out, but be warned: once you see a dog dressed as a sexy nurse, you can never unsee a dog dressed as a sexy nurse. You can pimp your pet for Halloween. Make your Schnauzer sexier or your Highland Maltie as hot as a Hairless Khala w/o the need for another Brazilian. It's too bad they don't make the sexy costumes for cats though since there are so many people out there going as sexy cats already. I have yet to determine the "sexy" angle for my costume this year. Maybe "sexy sanitation worker" or "sexy manual masturbator of caged animals for artificial insemination worker." We'll see.

Speaking of masturbation, if you haven't heard, Marge Simpson will FINALLY get a spread in Playboy. I've never really been a huge fan of the show, but I've been waiting for 22 years for a glimpse of her sweet sweet body. I'm going to destroy it. like that the title of the pictorial references our favorite classic '70s porno too. I also like that they've got some sort of Farah Fawcett tribute in the new issue as well. Although, titling it "Our Angel" is a bit odd. I know Joe "used to" have the famous bathing suit poster in his room; my cousin had it too, but I never understood the appeal. By the time I was old enough to be into bathing suit photos, I guess it was just outdated. I suppose this post will have to stand in for the belated Farrah Fawcett tribute we missed on here during the MJ frenzy last summer.

Speaking of MJ, he's got a new single, I learned this from The Soup last night, hitting the airwaves on the 28th. I hope this can really revitalize his career... where's he been lately anyway?

Stephen Colbert Calls it like it is!

The Word - Blackwashing

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The Mushroom Cup Incident

When I was little... like 4 or 5... my mom used a typical 70s style grey coffee cup w/ a mushroom design on the sides. I always dug that cup so a couple years ago, while I was helping her clean out her basement, I grabbed it. It had been in a china cabinet for ages & she wanted all the cups in there thrown out so it's not like I lifted it w/o her knowledge. The mushrooms are oddly psychedelic looking; sort of Allman Brothersesque. I don't know why that was the popular style back then, I can't imagine many small town, stay @ home moms w/ drug referencing cups today. I do like the idea of random people w/ bong imagery or crack pipes or needles on their coffee paraphernalia. Anyway, I didn't log on just to ramble on about drug imagery; I logged on to ramble on about my cup. After I grabbed it from the china cabinet, it fell into regular rotation & finally became my go-to cup of choice. That is, until last Wednesday when it came missing. I taught a couple classes w/ it on Tuesday,but On Wednesday morning it was no where to be found. I figured I'd left it in a classroom, but when I went back for it, it wasn't there. I checked all of the lost-&-founds on the 6th floor of Pray Harrold, posted an update on Facebook about it & was preparing to make a wanted posted & begin a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. However, after class, singer/songwriter/Twain Scholar Joe Csicsila suggested it might be in the English office. Alas, it was returned unharmed.I know this seems stupid (& like a story Peterman would tell on Seinfeld), but it got me thinking about how attached people get to coffee cups. As I was looking for it, I got all sorts of sympathy from people, some of whom I rarely talk to. They all had similar stories. Of course, my previous cup was a Kucinich 2004 campaign mug. before that, I had an Oscar Wilde cup that I'd had since 1996. The Kucinich cup broke when I dropped it in the hallway on the way to class. The Wilde cup in MIA. Id it ever turns up though, it'll have a hard time regaining its place as my #1 now that I have the Mushroom Cup back.

Parkour

The quickest way to move from point A to point B as long as point B is the hospital.

Summer of Arnold Post # 6: The Other Stuff / The Wrap Up

Stay Hungry: This came out in 1976 & works as a nice precursor to Smokey & the Bandit. It's about some Good ol' Boys in Alabama who attempt to take over a gym in order to build a sky-rise. We get Sally Field preparing for her role (& her roll) w/ Renyolds... but in this 1 we actually get Sally-skin. If nothing else, it was worth it for that. She works @ the gym where Arnold is preparing for the Mr. Universe contest & Jeff Bridges is the investor who is supposed to buy them out but falls in love w/ Fields instead. It's actually a decent film, But Arnold doesn't do much other than flex & oil up. It's not fantastic though... obviously. It's really only for the Sally Fields or Schwarzenegger completist. 2 1/2 out of 5 jiggly pecs

Batman & Robin: It's hard to come up w/ an original comment about this film. What else can be said after 12 years of complaints. It sucks, but if we focus on Arnold, we see he actually puts in a decent performance as Mr. Freeze. From beginning to end, nothing really works, but Aiden liked it & as a family, we only have 1 more of the 4 80s/90s Batmans to watch... The 1 w/ Danny DeVito! 1 1/2 Jiggly PecsAround the World in 80 Days: This is the 3rd version of this I've seen. The Pierce Brosnan version from 1989 is actually really good. Of course the David Niven version from 1956 won an Best Picture Oscar. This Jackie Chan version is winning no Oscars, but it's fun for the whole family. The changes to the story work well, but take away from the whole comment on British Imperialism that is so important in the book & earlier films. Arnold's cameo is only about 5 minutes long; he plays a Prince in Istanbul who tries to marry Phileas Fogg's love interest. Wackiness ensues, Jackie Chan flies through the air, & we're on to the next seen. 2 1/2 Jiggly Pecs

So ends our Schwarzeneger-a-thon. was it fun? Yes. Did I learn anything? Not really. Would I do it again? Only in chronological order. Will I be purchasing the Terminator films soon? Hell Yeah! we already watched the 1st 2 again & I loved them even more the 2nd time. I'm still a littl ebaffled by the fact that no one ever sat me down & made me watch them before.

3... 3... 3 Posts in 1

We'll finish today w/ a fun little feminine urination device but before we get there, let's take a look @ our new car & remember the lovely trip to the Detroit Zoo we took on Tuesday.
The Zoo
We cruised out to Royal Oak on Tuesday morning for a fun-filled day of animals, over-priced food, & bonding-time w/ my brother-in-law. Stephanie had been wanting to take Isaiah out there since he's mad for animals... turns out he loved it. Other than the horse that was a little closer than Isaiah wanted, everything was great. I love the Detroit Zoo... it's big, there are a ton of cool things to see, & took care of the elephants properly, & they don't have neon junk everywhere like Toledo. Piss on the Toledo Zoo! We parked on the top of the garage so I got to spit on to Woodward while we waited for Dan to meet us up there; so I had that going for me. We saw most of the animals starting w/ the penguins & ending w/ the llamas. We walked through the kangaroo exhibit where I learned that I don't like kangaroos very much, mainly because of their gestation process. It creeps me out. Stephanie loved the prairie dogs, Aiden dug the tiger, Solstice dug the penguins & reptiles. I, of course, was into the llamas & hippos, but the prairie dogs were cool. I wish they had a cross-section of their tunnels though. They can dig like they're on Hogans Heroes. They didn't blow up any bridges or bang any local chicks though... just each other.BOO-YAA!
The Car
You may recall I totalled my car last month. Well, I finally replaced it... w/ a 2002 Taurus wagon. It's got 200,000 miles and a sweet tape deck, oh, & a backwards way-back seat. The heat/AC only works when the fan is on full blast & there's a huge crack in the windshield, but for 100 bones it can't be beat. This picture is oddly flattering.

Go Girl
And for the third part of today's awesome post. Women no longer have to take life sitting down, or so says the tag line for this funnel device women can use to aid in out-door peeing. I've seen other devices like this over the years (I remember Holly had a Playgirl w/ Kip Winger on the cover & in the back there was an ad for something like this), but apparently this new design is the best ever. I can't imagine the difference between the best & the worst could really be that great, but I suppose if it means the difference between hitting the target & dripping down a leg then it makes sense. They're marketing it for both out-doorsy stuff & also for use in public restrooms. I get the camping/hunting use, but are women's restrooms really so bad that they necessitate this? Every women's room I've ever seen has fresh flowers & some sort of fancy vending machine. They always get mirrors too. Men only get mirrors about 60% of the time. I guess they can check their Go Girl placement in the mirrors before they pee standing up. That's pretty cool.

Lighthouses & Ice Cream

If you've known me for any length of time, you might know that I've always had some weird fascination w/ old lighthouses. It may go back to my 1st viewing of Pete's Dragon when I was 6 or 7; I'm not certain, but I know I want to live in one some day. That said, The Coast Guard is giving one away off the coast of Massachusetts. According to Wikipedia, it dates back to 1860 & the 1st 40 feet are solid granite. Apparently, the upkeep is pretty expensive, but it's cool as hell. The only problems would be the fact that there's really no back yard in which to kick a ball around, & because it's solid granite for 40 feet, getting to the top requires going up a ladder on the outside until one reaches the door. That might not go over well w/ Stephanie or the kids.In other awesome news, The Icecreamist Boutique in London will start selling Viagra-Ice cream in September... & it come w/ a shot of absinthe! Here's a picture of Cheryl Cole enjoying the sweet treat. Apparently, Ashley Cole needs more than a hot wife and £90000 a week to get things going.