Holiday Post #12: Another Reason Democracy Sucks

Here are the final tallies for you 2009 Visions of Ypsi Celebrity MILF of the Year. W/ 2 write ins for Kendra Leigh Baskett (née Wilkinson)... some surgery-enhanced whore from Playboy... & 1 abstaining, the rest of the results look like this:

Ashley Jensen: 2
Adriana Lima: 3
Heidi Samuel (née Klum): 3

And bringing the most votes, your Visions of Ypsi Celebrity MILF of the Year, Sarah Michelle Gellar: 4
Next year, we may need to adjust something to ensure it doesn't get this ridiculous ever again. We @ Visions of Ypsi will be holding our noses while we congratulate her on her victory. You can see her here in all her pregnant glory, but it's pretty obvious that the cutest one in the picture is the dog (& probably the most talented too). OK, I'll admit that she has a nice set of targets

Holiday Post #11: A cup of kindness yet

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and days o'auld lang syne ?

For auld lang syne, my jo,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stowp !
and surely I’ll be mine !
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We twa hae run about the braes,
and pu’d the gowans fine ;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot,
sin auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my jo,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’d i' the burn,
frae morning sun till dine ;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
sin auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my jo,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere !
and gie's a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll tak a right gude-willy waught,
for auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my jo,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

Burns Night is coming! 25 January 2010

And be sure to vote before midniight tonight... right now it's down to Heidi Klum, Sarah Michelle Gellar, & Adriana Lima.

Holiday Post #10: Vote or Die

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Holiday Post #9: Eve & Morning

After working @ both 2nd jobs yesterday, I made it home around 6:00ish & we enjoyed a fantastic Tofurkey dinner that couldn't be beat. Stephanie made Yorkshire pudding to go w/ it & then we watched a couple X-Mas cartoons (Smurfs & Mickey's X-Mas Carol) before the season 2 finale for Lost. After the kids went to bed we enjoyed Little Women while doing the Santa stuff.Isaiah seemed to completely understand what was going on as he kept looking @ the tree & saying "ho ho ho." He was then up all night, & Stephanie woke me up @ 6:00 because she couldn't wait any longer to watch the kids open their stuff.
Solstice: Guitar, Hannah Montana video game, Grease sweatshirt
Aiden: Batman book, FIFA '09, Lost Via Domus
Isaiah: Woody doll w/ pull string, Little People school bus, dog puzzle

They seem to have had a good X-Mas, but it's certainly not over yet. We're off to Stephanie's mom's in a few minutes, some old friends of my family tomorrow evening, & then my parents' Sunday afternoon. Hopefully I'll get a chance to see Jason & make the Season 2 - Season 3 switch w/ Daye this week too. And while we're on the topic of upcoming events, the voting has fallen off a bit... a few people still need to cast their votes... so get on it! It seems like Sarah Michelle Gellar might win this year, so we certainly can't let those numbers stand.

Holiday Post #8: Happy Festivus

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Holiday Post #7: The New Song... as Promised

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Holiday Post #5: And the Nominees are...

The Rules:
We @ Visions of Ypsi are proud to present the 6th Annual Celebrity M.I.L.F. of the Year Contest. Before you vote, however, be sure to read the rules:
1) The nominations have been considered and narrowed down to ten (11... why 11? Because 10 was just not enough!) contestants.
2) Each reader of Visions of Ypsi is allowed one (1) vote.
3) Votes are to be posted in the comments section of this post. Votes sent via e-mail or as a Facebook post will be counted if I feel like it.
4) Giving people shit based on who they voted for is not only accepted, but encouraged.
5) All votes posted by 12:00 AM on New Years Eve will be counted.
6) Voting is closed @ 12:01 AM New Years Day.
7) Late nominations will be considered, but discouraged.
8) Those nominated but not included on this official ballot are not eligible for late nominations.
9) If a voter wishes to change his or her vote, she or he must petition the writers of Visions of Ypsi.
10) Anonymously posted votes will only be accepted if the writers of Visions of Ypsi are told who the person is who is voting anonymously. In other words, the post can be anonymous and I will protect his or her anonymity, but I want to know who is voting to ensure true single votes.
11) We @ Visions of Ypsi will only cast a vote to break a tie if said vote is necessary or if we don't like who won. If you don't like that, you can get your own Celebrity MILF of the Year Contest.
12) As always, nominees must not have been eligible last year so we're setting the cut-off dates @ August. Any celebrity to have given birth before 1 September 2009 is ineligible.

Heidi Samuel (née Klum):
This is her 2nd nomination, which suggests that Seal has been hittin' it! I wonder if they'll give this kid the scarification from which the 1st kid was spared.












Sarah Michelle Gellar:
For all the Buffy fans who couldn't stop nominating her, here's your favorite star of Beverly Hills Family Robinson all knocked up. If she wins, I'll watch the show... well, probably not.











Julie Chen:
As co-host of the CBS Early Show & of Big Brother, this nomination is the biggest thing she's accomplished in years. Her son, w/ CBS President Leslie Moonves, was born in September.











Ellen Pompeo:
When not sporting the Whole Foods bag, she apparently sporting a cup of decaf from Starbucks... along w/ starring on Grey's Anatomy, she LOVES to support the big chains that are working so hard to displace the small, local stores.











Gisele Bundchen:
Gisele is helping to raise the probability that someone whose name ends w/ "Chen" will win this year; of course, Julie Chen is countering that by being Julie Chen.











Amy Adams:
This happy exhibitionist has recovered from being dumped on "the Booze Cruise" well enough to go and get knocked up by some dude that isn't Jim Halpert.









Paula Patton:
Those of you who read her name & promptly asked, "Who is she?" can join the club. she is vaguely known for her role in Idelwild, but more importantly, the father is Robin Thicke... son of Alan Thicke... which makes this baby an honorary Seaver!










Adriana Lima:
This little Angel has been appearing in Victoria's Secret ads since 2000... including the sweet, sweet ad that featured Dylan. I hope the kid has a haggard face and grumbly voice! That's right folks, we referenced Dylan in the MILF contest... he is everywhere.












Sarah Chalke:
After her long stand as the weird looking chick on Scrubs, this Canuck played the weird looking chick who left Ted @ the alter on How I Met Your..... Her parents run an adoption agency in Vancouver helping to place Chinese babies into Canuck homes... very interesting!












Jenna Elfman:
Like Sarah Chalke, she appeared on Roseanne; also like Sarah Chalke, she is weird looking. But weird in a hotter kind of way. What's she doing now? Your guess is as good as mine. I think she might have a sit-com where she plays some older woman living w/ a bunch of younger guys or something like that. I may have her confused w/ someone else though.













Ashley Jensen:
She's on Ugly Betty now (if that's still on), but more importantly, she was on Extras w/ Ricky Gervais. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor... it's fantastic! Particularly the 1 w/ Ben Stiller & the 1 w/ Patrick Stewart. Her kid was born in October & is named Francis... after me perhaps?













Tiffani Thiessen:
This has-been was knocked up by her never-was, Brady Smith... you loved her on Saved by the Bell, you tolerated her on 90210, & now you can vote for her on Visions of Ypsi.

Holiday Post #4: Chanukah Post #1

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Holiday Post #3: I'm a Lumberjack & I'm OK

Faithful readers will be in no way surprised to learn that we're going to Ida, MI tomorrow to get a X-Mas tree. This will mark the 7th straight year we've gotten our tree from Matthes Evergreen Farm. The place is really great. Not only do I get to participate in the manly art of cutting down a tree, but we then get to participate in the manly art of browsing the Old Ladies' Country X-Mas Craft Area (that might not be the official name... I'll have to check). They also feature a stage where local musicians perform all afternoon in the main barn (where they (the Matthes people... not the performers) also serve Hot chocolate, coffee, & snacks. There's a hay-ride, pony rides, a petting zoo, & the "Wreath Shop" where they sell home made decorations... & where the kids see Santa. It's been the same Santa dude every year, & unfortunately, I think Solstice & Aiden still actually believe he's "the real deal." I've been dropping hints for years, but they're being really stubborn about it. Speaking of Santa, the Wikipedia link to Santa suggests that in Welsh he is referred to as Siôn Corn which translates as Chimney John... so there's a fun little fact for you. Never say Visions of Ypsi doesn't give back to its readers! We're also giving back to the readers by giving y'all this link to the Christmas in Ida Festival & Parade of Lights. Over the 7 years we've been going down there, we had no idea that they had this huge festival each year. It's happening tomorrow in downtown Ida, so maybe we'll see you there.And speaking of giving back, we're still accepting nominations for the Visions of Ypsi Celebrity MILF of the Year Contest. Next week, we'll compile a list of the nominees, post the mini-bios, & start the voting. The nominees so far include Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Chalke, & Adriana Lima. Alessandra Ambrosio missed the cut-off by a week & Alyson Hannigan missed it by about 6 months.

Holiday Post # 2: The Thompson Building & The Nominations

Apparently, the city plans to tear down the remainder of the building. The entire story can be found @ The Ypsi Citizen, but I'll sum up here. They told Beal he had 90 day to make the structure permanently stable. When they sent him a letter this week to encourage the repairs, he claimed it had been done. They then said the scaffolding blocking lanes of both Cross St. & River St. is certainly not a permanent solution & are now going to file w/ the Circuit Court to get the go-ahead for demolition. Of course, in other Thompson Building news, no official cause for the fire has been released yet, but accelerants were found. No one seems to want to say that they believe Beal caused the fire, but it's pretty clear that the investigation is going in that direction. In non-Thompson Building news, start making your Visions of Ypsi Celebrity MILF of the Year Contest Nominations. The preferred nomination technique is to post your nominee here in the comments section. I will, however, accept e-mail submissions if you so desire.
As far as eligibility is concerned, the nominees need to have gotten knocked up in 2009 & they need to be famous. (Female celebrities who adopted in 2009 are also eligible, but we've seen in the past that those nominees cause a tad bit of controversy.) Celebrities whose babies were born this year are only eligible if the birth occurred after on or after September 1. This allows for shortened pregnancies, but in these cases, the pregnancies wouldn't have been known before the 1st of the year. Basically, we need to ensure people who were eligible last year aren't nominated this year for the same pregnancy. To get you started w/ the process, you can look through 9 potential nominees here (followed by 8 others who were eligible last year). Here is a link to a site full of rumors, but be sure the person is actually a 2009 MILF before nominating her. In closing, traffic @ Visions of Ypsi has been light lately, so if we don't get enough nominations, I'll nominate a few myself, but I would like to stay out of the process as much as possible. Oh, & to help get you in the MILFy holiday mood, you can revisit the Contest proceedings from previous years (2007 & 2008) here.

Holiday Post #12: Your Visions of Ypsi Celebrity M.I.L.F. of the Year

While 4 of the nominees got no votes whatsoever (Heche, Simpson, Foster, or Driver), none of other nominees ran away w/ the title either. It was a much closer race than in previous years, but like last year, it has come down to the tie-breaker vote. Before we get to that, I'd also like to point out that while a few regulars failed to cast a vote... which apparently means they will now die... we have a few newbies & they have our gratitude. Now, w/o further ado, we give you your 2009 Visions of Ypsi Celebrity M.I.L.F. of the Year: Gwen Stefani. As you can see here, she's always fulfilled her Milfy duties well, & she offers what few others have offered in the past... she's hotter preggers than pre-preggers.Usually, she looks a bit on the anorexic side of things, but while knocked up she puts on a little weight & looks really good. I've never been a fan of her music, but that's not what we're judging her anyway. I' sure she's excited to have this opportunity & to face the challenge that is being The Visions of Ypsi Celebrity M.I.L.F. of the Year. Matching the standard set by Maggie Gyllenhaal a few years ago might be too much to ask, but she'll definitely do as well as Michelle Williams & she'll probably out-milf Angelina Jolie... oh, & Happy New Year to you all.

Holiday Post #11: A MILFY Reminder

The final votes need to be cast by midnight on Wednesday & since I know many of you will be incoherent by that point in the evening, I suggest you get on it before then... you drunken bastards! As of right now, the exit polling is looking like this:
Gillian Anderson 1/2
Rebecca Romijn 1
Naomi Watts 1
Michelle Monaghan 1
Amy Poehler 1 1/2
Jennifer Garner 3
Gwen Stefani 3

If you don't want me to have to cast the tie-breaker, be sure to vote now!!! That doesn't mean that you have to pick one of the leaders though; there's still plenty of time.

Holiday Post #9: The Attention Whore Quiz

If you'll recall, only Kate Winslet scored a 100% on last year's quiz. Let's see if you can do as well this year as she did last year. We have 10 multiple choice questions based on things posted on Visions of Ypsi over the course of the last year. Click here for the Visions of Ypsi Attention Whore Quiz, & then post your score in the comments! (The question about the free haircut has the wrong answer... it should be the one about getting my ear clipped, but it's actually the one about wowing the woman w/ my poolside story. The web-site won't let me edit it.) And since we're in the spirit of whoring out for attention, here are a couple pics of me @ Plum Market today in the Horizon Organic Milk Pantomime Cow Suite (Not quite as cool as a pantomime Princess Margaret, but close.) Of course, after taking the quiz, cast your vote for the Visions of Ypsi Celebrity MILF of the Year!

Holiday Post #8: I got a lot of problems with you people!

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Holiday Post #7: Words

A few words about the previous post:
Before we get into the post of the day, I want to remind everyone that they need to scroll down to vote or just click here The Official Visions of Ypsi Celebrity MILF of the Year Contest has taken off, but Jennifer Garner is leading @ the moment... & that's no good.

Now a few words about sledding yesterday:
When I was a kid, we'd take our sleds & walk through the woods & fields until we found a new spot, a spot void of sled-tracks, a spot we'd never seen before. In Petoskey, we'd spend as much time finding a sledding area as we'd spend sledding... & it was good. We lived on a huge hill overlooking Lake Michigan in a pretty rural environment so the new sledding areas were seemingly endless. Dodging trees & ducking underneath electrified cattle fences were par for the course. In all those years, only once was someone rushed to the hospital when he slammed into a tree & ruptured his appendix. (Of course, this led to his sister claiming abdominal problems ran in her family when she had a cramp @ soccer practice after having eaten a plate of tacos before running for a 1/2 hour.) There were obviously some particular hills that bore repeated sledding, but the best was the exploring. Yesterday, I thought I'd take the kids sledding, but I wanted to go somewhere we'd never been. We found a great hill on the back side of a cemetery, but Aiden was unsure of that because he "doesn't really like cemeteries." I then suggested a hill @ then end of Clark Rd, but they were apprehensive because of the "No Trespassing" signs. When we were kids, "No Trespassing" signs simply meant that we were the first to sled there. We then went to Parker Mill Park, but they thought it was too close to the creek... 30 yards from the bottom of the hill to the beautiful frozen creek. We ended up on campus using the small hill behind the Porter Building. They had a blast, but next time, we're going to the cemetery. (I'll post the sledding pics when I get new batteries for the camera which are needed before I can up-load them.)

Now a few words about words:
According to The Economist, some ridiculous group in Texas, The Global Language Monitor, has predicted that April 29, 2009 will mark the debut of the 1 Millionth word in the English Language! As problematic as that count might be, be sure to check back here @ 12:01 AM (+12 GMT) on that date as I debut the new. In celebration of this, I'll work on coining some new terms over the next 4 months as a sort of build up to the great day. Today's word?
Chimilicious
1. The greatness of pseudo-Mexican food including but not limited to Chimichangas. This also includes burritos in a "jam band" parking lot, nachos in a movie theater (often refered to as "Phantom Menace Nachos"), or quesadillas in a chain restaurant like Applebee's or Red Robin.
2. The cultish greatness of any low quality item including films, music, books, or television shows.

Holiday Post # 6: Your Nominees

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Holiday Post #5: The Specials

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Holiday Post #4: Cookies

I was having a hard time thinking of another quick holiday post until I got an e-mail today which contained this link to some pretty nice holiday cookies. I was already kind of thinking about cookies anyway since Stephanie has been in the cookie-making mood this week so this link was really just the icing on the cake... as it were. I promise to post more after finals week... & don't forget to be thinking about the Annual Visions of Ypsi Celebrity MILF of the Year Contest... we'll get that going soon.

Holiday Post #17: And the winner Is...

The votes have been counted and the wait is almost over. It's been a fun 2 weeks, but the voting ended @ midnight on the cusp of 2008. As the ball was hitting the big 2008 sign in Time Square & Dick Clark was wowing us w/ his longevity & survival skills (I'd forgotten he had a stroke), Solstice was in awe of the fact that Miley Cyrus was performing live on TV & that she'd been able to stay up to see it (I was a bit surprised too seeing as she has the Chicken Pox... more on that soon). Yet, while all of this was happening, something bigger than all of us occurred: you let your voices be heard & picked the Visions of Ypsi 2007 Celebrity M.I.L.F. of the Year... or, well, you almost picked her. As was the case last year, it was a close race & in fact has again come down to the tie-breaker vote to be cast by me. In terms of the total # of votes, a few sorry saps got zip (Jennifer Weiner, Nancy Kerrigan, & Elizabeth Hasselbeck & surprisingly J. Lo & Jessica Alba). Had it come down to any of them, I would've cast my tie-breaker on J. Lo, but thankfully, that hasn't had to happen. Here are the results:

Drea de Mateo... 1
Halle Berry... 2
Christina Aguilera... 2
Helena Bonham Carter... 4
Angelina Jolie... 4

W/ Bonham Carter & Jolie tied @ 4 I've had a tough decision to make. Weighing Angelina's T&A & her philanthropic work against Helena's weirdness has been tough, but my decision has been made. After looking through Bonham Carter's body of work, I realized that I've never really liked any of her films other than Maurice & Howard's End. (Perhaps when I see Sweeny Todd I'll have to update my views.) A Room w/ a View is one of the worst Merchant/Ivory films ever. Planet of the Apes is shit. There are much better Hamlets out there. Frankenstein is ridiculous. Mighty Aphrodite is one of the worst Woody Allen films ever. Big Fish & Charlie & the Chocolate Factory are over-rated. Of course, the M.I.L.F. contest isn't just about acting talent. There is also other types of talent to be considered & Angelina has that in spades compared to Helena Bonham Carter. Besides, I actually like some of her films. Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow is cool, Gia is interesting, & she is fantastic in The Good Shepherd. That said, it really comes down to the other talents & as I said before, Angelina has it covered in that department so I now give you

YOUR "VISIONS OF YPSI 2007 CELEBRITY M.I.L.F. OF THE YEAR!"
Angelina Jolie
She isn't available for comment, but I'm sure if she were here, she'd say she is honored to join the ranks of Maggie Gyllenhaal & Michelle Williams. Moreover, I would imagine she would thank me for running this contest & giving her yet another platform to work her magic & get her message of peace & caring into all of our homes. Furthermore, she would probably want us to get involved w/ the fight against poverty & hunger & the fight against the genocide in Darfur... oh & she'd probably want us to look @ her tits.