Snow Day?

As far as I can remember, the last time we had classes canceled @ EMU due to weather was in December of 2000. I was teaching Eng.121 & sharing an office w/ Annette. It was my very 1st semester as a Lecturer, and while Annette & I were in an office together, I really didn't know her at all. Seeing as it's been almost 10 years, today's snow day came as a bit of a shock, & while I'll have to reshuffle the next couple weeks of class to get us back on track, I think I might be able to actually make good use of the day off. Here are the things I'll do:

1) Blogging: Lately, the blogging has played second fiddle to the rest of my life. I suppose that's the way it should be, but I've tried to keep up a steady pace of 10-12 posts per month over the last 5 years, but that hasn't been happening this year.

2) Reading: I feel as though I've been reading The Savage Detectives since Halloween. It's really good, but it's been really slow going too. I guess confining my "fun" reading to bathroom time & breaks @ Plum Market don't make for fast books. However, recently, around page 350, something resembling a plot appeared so the pace might start picking up. We'll see.

3) Terminator Salvation: The Machinima Series: I rented it last week & it's due back on Friday so today'll be a good opportunity to watch it. It looks like it might suck, but in keeping w/ my new-found love of all things Terminator, I feel wee need to watch it.

4) Star Wars: We've been talking about watching the whole saga again, so we may need to start today w/ a viewing of Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace. I think Isaiah wants to watch it.

5) Sledding: I image that @ some point this afternoon, probably while Isaiah is taking his nap, I'll take S & A out for a little while @ Riverside Park.

6) Chili: I'll take the day to slow-cook some chili & fix Coney Dogs for dinner.

7) Arsenal: There's a match this afternoon vs. Liverpool, but it's not on Fox Soccer Channel. I was considering resubscribing to Setanta, chose not to. Today, I'm regretting that decision. If I were in my office, I'd be able to watch it on-line w/ a much better connection than I have @ home... oh well. Who wants to come over & watch Arsenal go down in their 3rd consecutive defeat today?

Holiday Post #1: What's w/ the Wig?

Embedding has been disabled for this video, but you should definitely check it out. I keep reading horrible reviews of his X-Mas album, but everything I've heard from it is great. Here's the fun 1st video from Christmas in the Heart: "Must Be Santa Clause." Check it out and enjoy the ridiculous list of reindeer names that includes (for some unknown reason) recent presidents. Not to mention, the ridiculous wig that Dylan is wearing.

In other holiday news, it might be time to start sending your nominations for the Visions of Ypsi Celebrity MILF of the Year Award, & as we're getting towards Life Day, be sure to watch the Star Wars Holiday Special. The official site has been updated since the last time I checked it out... last year I suppose. Here's the first ten minutes. You can then follow the links to watch the rest. Be sure to check out the Boba Fett cartoon & the sweet Jefferson Starship cameo... oh, & of course, Bea Arthur, Harvey Korman, & the Princess Leia song @ the end.

Deep in the Hell of Youth Soccer

This fall season has been 1 clusterfuck after another. We've been pushed around from 1 practice place to another a few times. I told the dude we were going to practice 1 place, he said fine & then immediately sent out an e-mail to parents saying somewhere else. They were obviously confused as Hell so I've had to sort that out multiple times. Certainly, it wasn't their fault, but I'm then caught in the middle of it all looking like a total douche nozzle. Of course, it doesn't help that the roster changes every fucking week. We started w/ practices 2 weeks ago, had a few changes for the 2nd week & then had 3 new kids this week. This seems to be a case of the parents registering their kids after the deadline, but @ this point, I wouldn't rule out the possibility of it just being a clerical mistake on the part of the Township Rec Dept. I suppose this wouldn't be as big of a deal if wee didn't keep getting new kids who had never played before. Each practice takes us back to the beginning. I'm glad they want to play, & I'm happy to help, but the other kids stand there w/ looks on their faces as if to say, "WTF? We just did all this shit last week." (That's a literal translation of their facial expressions, not a word for word transcription of their actual comments.)

In the end today, after an hour of frustration & disorganization, the parents were really understanding so @ least there was that. They could have been really angry. To top it off, I started kicking the balls as far as I could to take out a little aggression after most had left when 1 of the parents, laughing, asked if it'd been a rough practice @ which point her kid came running up telling her what a great practice it had been. It's nice to know the kids didn't pick up on my frustration; maybe they weren't upset that we'd already done that stuff twice after all.

On the other hand, we got home & Stephanie had made awesome chili. After which, while I was writing this, Isaiah was screwing w/ the computer so I tried to distract him by asking where Mace Windu was. He preceded to walk across the room & grab the Clone Wars Action Figure. The dude is 14 months old & know ace Windu? Sweet! Maybe net year we'll start him on SWTCG. I bet a gaming league would be a lot easier than youth fucking soccer.

A Review & an Award

We watched the B movie Fanboys last night. I kinda sucks, but if you're like me (& I know you are) & you like the Trilogy, they you should give it a go. It centers around a group of Star Wars dorks who set out from Ohio to break into Skywalker Ranch in the fall of 1998 in order to see an early cut of The Phantom Menace. Along the way, the encounter many fun cameos which really make the movie almost worth it: Carrie Fischer dropping a famous Star Wars line, Billie Dee Williams as Judge Reinhold... a judge, not the actor, Ethan Suplee as a crazy Dork God, Kevin Smith & Jason Mewes referencing 1 of their movies, Seth Rogan in a great dual role, Danny Trejo of Machete fame, & Shatner as Shatner... & I also just learned that Ray Park... of Darth Maul fame made an appearance too.The Visions of Ypsi Player of the Day:
Thursday saw 2 matches in Group B as Brasil had their way w/ the USA. My 1st thought was that a Brasilian would get the award, but really, it was just a walk in the park for them. The US was so bad that no one really needed to rise above the rest. Which leaves us w/ the Egypt Italy match. Of course, I love watching Italy lose, but to see them lose like that was fantastic. They controled most of the game & kept the Egyptian goal under siege so Essam El Hadary really needed to stand up & be counted. And he did, so he get the nod today. We'll see how they do tomorrow against the USA; perhaps the US just don't deserve to be in a tournament w/ these other teams.

Confederations Cup

Top 100 Hip Hop Songs: Better Late than Never

I don't know how we missed this the 1st time around, but apparently back in September VH1 constructed a list of the Top 100 Hip Hop Songs of all time. Even though we missed it the 1st time around, I suppose it could still use a few comments here. In general, I understand the problems w/ picking 100 songs & the problematic nature of then prioritizing them from 100-1, so I will leave the majority of the picks alone. For instance, I was never a fan of "Baby Got Back," but I suppose it has its historical significance, besides, neither the beans nor the rice miss me very often either. That said, here are my observations:
* Some of the picks seem to be there as a way for VH1 to plug their other shows. The fact that Warren G & Yo Yo feature on the VH1 shows doesn't necessarily mean their songs deserve a spot in the top 100... "Regulate" is pretty cool, but in the Top 100? I don't think so.
* I was surprised by the number of newer songs w/ which I was familiar. I assumed I knew nothing about rap post-The Chronic, but as it turns out, I recognized a few of them. Albeit, my familiarity w/ "Ridin" by Chamillionaire ft. Krayzie Bone is based on my familiarity w/ Weird Al's parody "White & Nerdy."
* If I were to make a similar list, I imagine it would be more 1988-1992centeric so I guess I'm a bit biased against the newer stuff, & even though Biggie was almost 15 years ago now (& hence not really "newer), I never understood his mass-appeal.
* I like 71-70, "Freaks Come Out at Night" > "Pop Goes the Weasel." Whodini always cracked me up... what was w/ that one dude's hat? And then, I always get excited when people give 3rd Bass the props they deserve.
* Big Punisher ft. Joe @ #76? Who the hell are they & how can a rapper be called Joe? He needs a better name like Lil Joe or Mixmaster Joe or even just LL Cool Joe.
* Lil' Kim ft. Lil' Cease @ 75... I don't know the song (or who this Lil Cease person is), but Lil Kim should be higher on the list based solely on her tits... as shown here w/ Diana Ross.
* Jungle Brothers, Nas & De La Soul should be higher on the list... especially since Puff Daddy, Roxanne Shante & Tone Loc are higher than them.
* As far as the Top 10 goes, I don't have many problems other than these:
** LL Cool J should be in the Top 10 rather than Biggie.
** "Rapper's Delight," while historically important, isn't really that great of a song... I can understand its place in the Top 10, but #2 is pushing it.
** Public Enemy @ #1 is obvious, but their blatant absence from the rest of the list is strange. Their best is the greatest Hip Hop song ever, but their 2nd best isn't even in the Top 100? I don't but it. "Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos," "Bring the Noise," "Welcome to the Terrordome," "Leave this off Your Fucking Charts," "Terminator X to the Edge of Panic," "Prophets of Rage," & "Rebel w/o a Pause" could all easily make that list.Overall, it was fun to watch it last night while flipping back & forth w/ Jedi. What we saw of Jedi brought about a few new issues I never thought about before too, but I may save them for a different post. Here's a hint though... CGI Ewoks & some logic in the floor plan of Palpatine's Thrown Room might help the film. And speaking of the Thrown Room scene, I just found this fun little overview of the extent of Vader's injuries as explained by some random fan-boy.

Holiday Post #5: The Specials

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2 Recommendations

While grocery shopping yesterday, we came upon a new (or @ least new to us) snack food that needs a mention here: Osem Bassli Falafel. They're little wheat sticks w/ cumin & garlic. It's pretty crazy how much they actually taste like falafel. If you like falafel, you'll dig these fun little snacks. Give 'em a try. You won't be sorry.You may recall my review of the Star Wars: The Clone Wars film from August. Well, the animated series began last weekend & Aiden & I watched the 1st 2 episodes last night (& will watch the next 2 this evening). The Australian Clone Trooper is a bit odd; I keep expecting him to bust out a Fosters & call Yoda "Bruce." It doesn't seem likely, but Aiden's undying dedication to this show is pretty likely. In fact, I'm digging it too. It's obviously no Empire Strikes Back, but it's fun & really, aside from the really odd animation, what else can one ask for from a George Lucas show.. maybe a few musical numbers, but that still isn't out of the questions because Star Wars musical numbers, of course, are the promise of the tree of life.

The Critics vs Dr. Paul: The Clone Wars Review

I just returned from the theater where Aiden & I saw the new installment in the Star Wars Saga, Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Near the biginning, there's a moment when a clone asks Obi Wan what Anakin is doing & he says, "Anakin is following the plan." I'm not sure if he meant the battle plan or Lucas's marketing plan, but @ that point in the film, I was hoping the audience would be let in on the plan soon. Before I discuss my thoughts though, I'll give you a few quotes from the professionals.
"At what point might animators be arrested for doing work so ugly it causes aesthetic blindness in millions of younglings?"
- Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune
"It's rare for one man to act as a Death Star to his own successful creations."
- anonymous writer for Scotland on Sunday
"I felt like I was watching an episode of Thunderbirds."
- Vincent Janoski, Wired
"There’s a stereotypically “gay”-seeming villain in the new CGI Star Wars movie The Clone Wars that is so offensive and over-the-top that you’re left wondering, 'Is George Lucas insane?'" - Brent Hartinger, After EltonI was familiar w/ these claims before we went to the pool the other day & ran into Pete who had just seen it w/ his kids. He claimed to have actually liked the film & said he thought I'd dig it so we went this afternoon while Elizabeth took Solstice out for a b-day manicure. The 1 main thing I remember Pete mentioning was that there are some funny scenes: Ziro the Hutt realizing his plan has been foiled & shouting "Run" as he slowly slithers away. That's pretty good, but not as good as the fact that Ziro is some sort of Truman Capote caricature. He runs a night club on Coruscant while wearing feathers & eye make-up & talking in a lispy southern accent. Although the people @ After Elton were bothered by this, I'm down w/ a gay bad guy. Why not? There have been multiple gay good guys (Luke, C-3P0, Jar Jar) it seems like sooner or later a bad guy should be gay. Not to mention the fact that he's certainly more entertaining than 99% of your gay characters in film & TV.

W/ this in mind, I'm going to have to come down in the minority here & agree w/ Pete. As we see in the above quotes, there are those who feel the animation sucks, but it is just different from everything else out there. Lucas is claiming he wanted it to look like Thunderbirds, in which case, mission accomplished. It's always possible that he said that after the fact to pre-empt any negative comments, but either way, it's pretty cool. It also kind of looks like Rudolph: R2's Shiny New Year. As far as the story line is concerned, it was obviously not as good as the main films, but it should make a cool TV show. It reminded me of the Star Wars comic books, & having read more than my fair share, I can say that that's alright. One of the plot points that has bothered people has to do w/ the reason for the kidnapping of Jabba's kid, Ratta whom Jabba refers to as "My little Pumpkin Muffin." A nick name that causes both the protocol droid & Obi Wan to do a double take. Anyway, it's meant to cause a problem similar to that @ the beginning of The Phantom Menace, but those w/o the knowledge of Star Wars minutiae don't understand. It has to do w/ gaining access to Hutt controlled Hyperspace Lanes....Overall, it's better than the Ewok movies, the Droids cartoon, the Ewok cartoon & the Holiday Special (although a Jefferson Starship musical number would have been nice). If you've made it through all of those, then you should definitely see this 1. As it turns out, we do get to know the plan & it actually kind of works: it's fun & you'll love the show this fall. (It's for kids & geeks only though... Jenn didn't like it & I'm not @ all surprised.) Not to mention that fact that the CGI Padme & Asaj Ventris are way hotter than the cartoon versions. Oh, & Anakin gets a cute little Padawan.

Pirate Week 2008: Post #1... A New Hope; or "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought

Arrr; faithful readers of Visions of Ypsi wait all year for this annual celebration, but they have to wait no longer. This, the 1st post of the celebration, is actually only peripherally related to pirates, but since I included A New Hope on last year's list of swashbucklers, (found here, I figured it'd be OK. We were channel surfing the other night & came upon Star Wars on Spike's Force of July celebration & decided it'd been a while since we'd seen it so we gave it a whirl. If you haven't seen it, it's about a whiny farm boy who befriends an old warrior, a couple of gay robots & some space pirates in order to defeat an evil galactic empire run but Dr. Van Helsing & he guy who played Nick Debrett in Swashbuckler ... it's pretty cool; you should check it out. Anyway, I noticed a few things that have slipped by me during all of my previous viewings.
1) C-3P0's restraining bolt.
R2-D2's is taken off so Luke can play the message, but I never noticed when 3PO's is removed, or it just never crossed my mind to pay attention to it. It turns out that the bolt is removed between the time they leave the Jawa BBQ & the time they arrive in Mos Isley. This is a nice subtle little symbol. In fact, it's more subtle than I thought Lucas capable of. Once Luke finds Owen and Berue dead, he symbolically joins the Alliance. It is @ this point that he also "frees" C-3PO because the Rebel Alliance is one of peace and liberty. Nice job Luke.
2) Han calls Luke "Buddy"
Throughout most of the film Han refers to Luke as "Kid," but as they flee the Death Star, right after Obi-Wan is killed, Han calls him "Buddy." Here wee have a nice little rite of passage as Luke is no longer the innocent farm boy. He has become Han's equal, having witnessed the death of his mentor. This is much more jarring for him than the deaths of his aunt & uncle because he is now fighting for something & the death means more to him. Their deaths represented freedom; Obi-Wan's represents the moment when Luke becomes a "man." (Not to be confused w/ the 1st time he bangs his sister which must have happened some time between Empire & Jedi.)
3) Leia bangs Chewie
While we're on the subject of Leia sex, I found a little more legitimacy to her claim that she'd "rather kiss a Wookiee" than Han. After Han & Luke finish destroying the Tie-Fighters that chase them from the Death Star, they shout we did it & hug. The film then cuts to Leia & Chewie as she says the same thing & Leia & Chewie hug. I've always placed great importance on this hug, but only this time did I realize it's true meaning as I wondered what the Hell she did. She didn't work the guns, that was Han & Luke. She didn't angle the deflector shield or pilot the Falcon, that was Chewie. What gives her the right to claim to be part of this battle... she was just a passive observer like me & everyone else who views the action. It's exciting, but I don't think I can claim to have done anything in the battle (other than not changing the channel). Is this arrogant aristocrat hitching her wagon to the glories of a scruffy looking pirate & some Hitler youth farm boy? Certainly not. Then it hit me... what did she do w/ Chewie? IT! While Han & Luke are fighting the Empire, she & Chewbacca are in the "cock-pit" quietly humping... AWESOME!

Gear and Links

Not to bore you w/ a soccer post, but the other day @ a little neighbor hood kick-around I broke my glasses. I showed up and then realized I'd forgotten my sweet sweet soccer goggles. I said to myself "I'll just take it easy & this should be fine." W/in 5 minutes, I went up for a header & saw my former glasses explode in 4 different directions. I have an appointment for next week, so be sure to stay tuned & find out about the new pair... you can count on me to report back as soon as I get them, & if you're lucky, there will be some crazy optometry hijinks to boot. Until then, @ least you can enjoy this fantastic shot of the now defunct official eye wear of Visions of Ypsi.In other gear news, I the George Bush treated me to a new printer & as my 1st order of business, I've started making t-shirts. I have 2 shirts but 4 images so I might need a little help here. Of the 2, 1 will be an Arsenal shirt featuring Arsene Wenger & the other will feature 1 of these 2 images: here and here. I know they're both rather nerdy, but I'd appreciate it if you could look beyond the nerd-factor & cast a vote for the image that should adorn the shirt. W/ this in mind, I'd also like to announce the beginning of the new Visions of Ypsi t-shirt line: for 15$ you get a t-shirt (L, XL, XXL) w/ a picture of Tub Girl & the Visions of Ypsi URL. If sales go as expected, I'd be happy to introduce shirts w/ other images too. Come to think of it, the sales of the bumper stickers never really took off (go figure), so this could really open things up to a whole new market. BTW, here's the Arsene Wenger shirt I'm making (I don't know what's happening w/ his thumb, but it can't be good): Trust Arsene
Speaking of opening things up to a whole new market, here's the first of a few links I have for y'all today: If you like cereal in a way completely different from how I like cereal, than you might just like this. Then, of course, in other body image news... or for those of you interested in Children's Literature, there's this, My Beautiful Mommy. It's a children's book about how to explain your new boob job or your tighter ass or your fuller, cock-sucking lips to your kids. Dr. Michael Alexander Salzhauer is quite the author... I smell a Newbery! Finally, in an attempt to come full circle, check out this Darth Vader hot air balloon. The link is about a year old, but posting it while I'm considering a Darth Vader shirt seems mildly apropos. Last, but not least, when I got the new printer, I also scored a couple new hats that will join the Moonlight BBQ hat in helping get me through the awkward, growing out phase of my hair. (It's definitely past the product stage now.) You're going to have to settle for a phone-cam pic though because suddenly my camera isn't working. If I can't get it working, George Bush may be treating me to a camera too.

In a Blogosphere Far, Far Away

You were thinking "What the Hell is going on here?" as she dressed all Dom in Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow. You were on the edge of your seat for her deleted scenes on the 2nd disc of Revenge of the Sith. You thought she was pretty sweet in that one episode of Entourage. You thought it was odd when she just barely avoided a lesbian orgy because of a mix-up about her name: "Are you bi? Yes.. I am Bai." You were again left asking, "What the Hell?" as she played Jack's psychic tattoo artist on Lost. You've wondered how many "nip-slips" she can have before they are no longer considered "slips:" Example 1, Example 2, Example 3, & Example 4. (I promise, none of those links are to Tub Girl.) You assumed it was about time for her to get arrested when she was busted a couple days ago for shoplifting. Well, now you can follow all of her hijinks's (or Bai-jinks), complete w/ bad grammar & poor punctuation, @ her very own blog. Along w/ her destruction of the English language, you will also find enough self-photos from her phone to rival any Facebook album of a 14 year old. Be sure to enjoy it... she seems to update it more often than I update this. If only she would clear up the confusion about her name: is it Bai Ling or Ling Bai? There's a lot of conflicting evidence out there. I thought it was Bai Ling, but now I'm not so sure. Speaking of blogs you need to check out, Solstice finally got around to blogging again so be sure to give it a whirl too and leave her some comments. In other Star Wars news, the new animated series starts this Fall & will apparently be preceded by w/ a theatrical release in August. Check out the trailer for the show:

Holiday Post #6: Why All the Long, Hairy Faces?

Jason posted this link to the Top 10 Star Wars tattoos and it reminded me that t'is the season for everyone's 2nd favorite made for TV holiday tradition, The Star Wars Holiday Special. I was talking about it the other day too, but I can't remember with whom that conversation took place. It may even have been yesterday at the Celebration of Student Writing. Regardless of who I was talking to, I thought I'd take this time to announce the annual viewing in case any of you would like to join me. I''l be watching the special this week-end; however, my copy is really old and grainy. If you plan to watch it w/ me & you happen to have a better version, particularly The Angry Sun Edition, I'd love it if you could bring it along. Here is a 5 minute overview featuring any of the best moments... The songs by Jefferson Starship & Princess Leia, the grumblings of the great Art Carney, Harrison Ford taking things much too seriously, Boba Fett in a fun little cartoon, & of course Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes backing up Bea Arthur for her bizarre cantina song... oh, & a little Wookie sex. According to wikipedia, Carrie Fischer doesn't even remember being involved w/ the project. Apparently, the stories of her coke use have been greatly underestimated.
For maore info on all things Holiday Special, be sure to consult the Wookipedia
Or, if you feel you need to run through the entire script before viewing this weekend, go to www.starwarsholidayspecial.com

And now, I'll leave you w/ the lyrics to Leia's song... wise words from a wise woman:
We celebrate
a day of peace.
A day of harmony.
A day of joy
we can all share
together joyously.
A day that takes
us through the
darkness.
A day that leads us
into might.
A day that makes
us want to celebrate
the light.
A day that brings
the promise that
one day, we'll be
free to live,
to laugh,
to dream,
to grow,
to trust,
to love,
to be.

On First, Who Is?

who's on first with star wars