Looking gift horses in mouths

Wonder Woman, Storm, Catwoman, Rogue.... Their pants have always been nearly non-existent in order to sell female heroes to 12 year old boys. When Star Trek: The Motion Picture came out, I remember thinking, "The future is gonna be sweet w/ the tight pants all the sexy, hairless chicks* will be wearing." By the time Star Trek: TNG was on, the thinking sort of shifted to "Come on... no one is really going to wear pants that tight in the future." Of course, this year my thoughts have changed a bit again as those once futuristic tight, tight pants have become a reality. Back in the mid-80s, the girls were wearing tight legging type things, but always w/ long sweaters over them. It never occurred to people that the legging things could stand alone as pants in their own right.

This year, running/yoga attire has merged w/ basic going to class or the grocery store attire into some weird camel-toe show-off sessions. Not only are the pants tighter, but they've become thinner. I now I shouldn't be so concerned (in fact, I should probably just sit back & enjoy the show), & I know I've never been the standard bearer for an appropriate fashion sense, but it's a bit ridiculous. I feel that if I can pick your whoo-ha out of a pussy-line-up, your pants might be too tight. Clearly, this is a trend designed by a couple D&D/Tasha Yar fans... & young women across the county have bought into it like fucking lemmings... lemmings in really tight pants.

Oh, & while we're on the topc of hot, hot women in tight, tight pants, I'd like to remind you all that Staphanie has created a new blog. Be sure to check it out!

*Deltans, the specie of Lt. Ilia, have no body hair other than eye brows & lashes. Their evolution has taken them to some glorious future w/o pubes or old man ear-hair. Of course, afte she became possesed by V'ger, she wore no pants at all.

Junk

I've been selling my old appliances on Craig's List and actually doing pretty well. So far I've sold the fridge, the washer, & the dryer, & it looks like the stove, the ceiling fans & a large mirror will go today. I'm loving this & trying to find a few more things I can dump on random strangers. I've made a few hundred bucks which will go nicely w/ the cash I'll be bringing in from my new part-time job across town. I'm starting Mon. morning @ 8:00 @ Plum Market. It feels strange to go to a grocery store again after so many years, but it will be an easy summer job. I may stay on part time once the semester starts too. I have a ton of fond memories of my stint @ the Whole Foods low those many years ago, but I doubt this will be the same. I'm not expecting to go to the bar w/ work-folks every night & make life-long friends, but we'll see.

Speaking of junk, I got a pair of shorts for Father's Day that didn't fit right so I took them back to Macy's & exchanged them for some jeans. The men's section @ Macy's is ridiculous. In fact, only this one pair of jeans was worth getting. Everything else was either for the golf course or for young metrosexual rock stars... 80 bucks for a skin tight t-shirt? WTF? Seeing as I'm not actually the metrosexual rock star I fancy myself as, I had to go w/ a simple pair of Levis. However, as I was making the exchange, the woman at the register asked if I wanted to apply for a Macy's card. I laughed. She then said I'd get a free watch... more junk I can sell on Craig's List! When I realized the watch wasn't contingent on getting approved for the card, I filled out the form & am now the owner of some fancy, big faced chrome watch. I might actually keep it. Coincidentally, I haven't worn a watch since I worked @ the Food Whole, so maybe this is a good time to start again.In other junk news, the kids were watching The Suite Life of Zack & Cody yesterday & the plot revolved around a character (London Tipton... a sarcastic dig on Paris Hilton) getting disinherited. They asked me what that meant so I had to explain inheritance. "You know, how when I die, you'll get my junk? That's inheritance. Disinheritance means that the parent or whomever refuses to leave the junk to a specific person." Solstice's response: "Sweet! I'm getting all your stuff?!?!" I think she started making a mental list right then. Aiden's response (while pointing @ his penis): "Your junk? Why would I want that?" Those kids make me so proud.Speaking of being proud, this man, back form suspension after a red card against Croatia should be proud of his performance against Portugal yesterday. He got a goal & 2 assists in yesterday's 3-2 quarter final match. After that performance, he will also be proud to be today's Visions of Ypsi Player of the Day: Bastian schweinsteiger. Celebrating his goal, 2 assists & Player of the Day award

Gear and Links

Not to bore you w/ a soccer post, but the other day @ a little neighbor hood kick-around I broke my glasses. I showed up and then realized I'd forgotten my sweet sweet soccer goggles. I said to myself "I'll just take it easy & this should be fine." W/in 5 minutes, I went up for a header & saw my former glasses explode in 4 different directions. I have an appointment for next week, so be sure to stay tuned & find out about the new pair... you can count on me to report back as soon as I get them, & if you're lucky, there will be some crazy optometry hijinks to boot. Until then, @ least you can enjoy this fantastic shot of the now defunct official eye wear of Visions of Ypsi.In other gear news, I the George Bush treated me to a new printer & as my 1st order of business, I've started making t-shirts. I have 2 shirts but 4 images so I might need a little help here. Of the 2, 1 will be an Arsenal shirt featuring Arsene Wenger & the other will feature 1 of these 2 images: here and here. I know they're both rather nerdy, but I'd appreciate it if you could look beyond the nerd-factor & cast a vote for the image that should adorn the shirt. W/ this in mind, I'd also like to announce the beginning of the new Visions of Ypsi t-shirt line: for 15$ you get a t-shirt (L, XL, XXL) w/ a picture of Tub Girl & the Visions of Ypsi URL. If sales go as expected, I'd be happy to introduce shirts w/ other images too. Come to think of it, the sales of the bumper stickers never really took off (go figure), so this could really open things up to a whole new market. BTW, here's the Arsene Wenger shirt I'm making (I don't know what's happening w/ his thumb, but it can't be good): Trust Arsene
Speaking of opening things up to a whole new market, here's the first of a few links I have for y'all today: If you like cereal in a way completely different from how I like cereal, than you might just like this. Then, of course, in other body image news... or for those of you interested in Children's Literature, there's this, My Beautiful Mommy. It's a children's book about how to explain your new boob job or your tighter ass or your fuller, cock-sucking lips to your kids. Dr. Michael Alexander Salzhauer is quite the author... I smell a Newbery! Finally, in an attempt to come full circle, check out this Darth Vader hot air balloon. The link is about a year old, but posting it while I'm considering a Darth Vader shirt seems mildly apropos. Last, but not least, when I got the new printer, I also scored a couple new hats that will join the Moonlight BBQ hat in helping get me through the awkward, growing out phase of my hair. (It's definitely past the product stage now.) You're going to have to settle for a phone-cam pic though because suddenly my camera isn't working. If I can't get it working, George Bush may be treating me to a camera too.