Friday, September 28, 2007

The Infamous Penis Story

Last week, while my son was getting dressed, he looked at me w/ sullen eyes & a forlorn, downcast face. I asked what the matter was, & he responded, "I don't think I'll ever have an adult-sized penis." I was immediately interested in what he had to say, for knowing the genetics involved here, I couldn't understand what he had to fear. As I asked what he meant, he replied, "It keeps getting bigger, but then it gets small again." There was such anxiety & frustration in his voice, I struggled to contain my laughter. "That's how they work," I said, "mine does the same thing." He was absolutely shocked by this little nugget of info, & he looked as though the weight of the world had been lifted off of his shoulders. Such utter relief in his eyes. I then suggested that it gets bigger when he wakes up and has to go to the bathroom or if he's been messin' w/ it, & he looked at me wondering how the Hell I could know such a thing. He then wondered how it gets bigger, to which I then had to reply by explaining that the veins fill up w/ blood. Of course, his next question, to which I didn't have such a good answer, was "what part of me doesn't have blood in it when it's in my penis?" I answered the best I could & realized that this had been bothering him for quite some time. It was awesome.

10 comments:

Matthew said...

I have to ask what your answer to his last question was - my answer would have been "your brain - trust me on this one..."

Dan said...

You didn't tell him that your still waiting for your adult-sized penis?

jason said...

Did you see Dr. 90210? This dude had a hidden penis. It seemed like he just had a big gut that hid his penis, but they did a bunch of surgery. You better make sure he doesn't have a hidden penis though. You don't want him popping up on TV in 30 years getting his hidden penis surgically repaired for all world to see.

Andre said...

Don't worry Jason, his penis is a fine size.

And Matt, I told my friend Roger this story, and he said the same thing.

jason said...

So was the guy's on Dr. 90210! It was hidden though!

Andre said...

What's that mean? Hidden where?

jason said...

According to the doc, the penis is hidden between a fatty pubic area and the scrotal sack. Like I said, I think the dude just needed to lose some weight and do some sit ups, but they did some sort of surgery where they cut ligaments and stuff so the penis would not be hidden anymore. He said he had been suffering from this since he was a kid.

Stacey said...

I think that is so cool that Aiden asked that! Smart kid. Clearly, the erection blood comes from the brain, more specifically the part of the brain where the trust-o-meter is located.

Daye said...

you are a good daddy

JoeyM said...

Hello everyone I am the 49yr old virgin. Yes I needed to lose some weight, but if you saw the program you would have seen that I when I was a child I was given a shot in the hip that caused me to have a distored hip area. Since I had the procedure it has chaged my life for the better. I hope this helps explane my situation. Please see the show again and watch both epesodes. Thank you Joe