Monday, September 10, 2007

Gay as a Handbag Full of Rainbows...

... Or the obligatory 1st game injury update
(Or, simply put, fodder for Jason)
I had my first game of the season yesterday & was playing much better than expected until the 4th quarter when a new guy on my own team kicked me in the ankle. I'd already strained my groin & twisted my back, so this was the final straw. I was hurting... & still am. I took to kids to Taco Bell afterwards & put them to bed when I realized that my aching bones would do well w/ a bath. If I remember correctly, I hadn't taken a bath in 4 years, partly because I know they aren't the most manly of activities, but I'm secure enough w/ myself & I knew it would do me good, so I figured, "What the Hell?" Since it'd been so long, I also figured I'd do it up... I opened a bottle of wine, lit a few candles, & grabbed the new issue of World Soccer. As I was soaking & feeling a bit better, I heard Solstice coming down the stairs. She enters the TV room & realized neither the light nor the TV was on. I then hear, "Dad???" "In here," I replied as she then looking into the bathroom. She eyed the candles, looked the wine up and down, & finally saw me in the bubble bath. The, w/ the funniest look on her face, she said, "well, this is a pretty fancy bath." It turns out that her eyes were itchy & she wanted an allergy pill, but I feel as though she was thinking the only thing that would have made my antics any gayer would have been if I'd had a cock in my mouth. OK, she's 8, she probably didn't think that... but she should have.

12 comments:

Stacey said...

I don't know, I think that secret stash of Barbra Streisand CDs you have is pretty gay.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for making me laugh out loud. Actually, thank Solstice.

dawn said...

oops, im not trying to be anonymous. That last comment was me.

Elizabeth said...

O.O.C.

Dan said...

Bath's not the most manly of things? This coming from a man who pees sitting down! Very funny stuff 'Dre.

peltierinator said...

did you win? How did you hide the dildo so fast?

Laura Jacquez said...

you pee sitting down?

Stacey said...

I'm all about the male sit-down peeing. It's much cleaner.

Andre said...

Yep... no splash factor and why stand when you can sit. It's a win-win.

We lost to the Orange/Red allstars 3-1, but since it was a combined team, they forefit and we get the 3 points.

jason said...

It's not cleaner when it's Andre's ass on your toilet seat.

That extra sitting on the toilet could be detrimental to your hemorrhoids dude. With hemorrhoids, there is no winner.

Andre said...

Words to live by.

Stacey said...

Good point, you never know where that ass has been.