The Obligatory Olympics Post

We attempted to watch the Olympics last night, but it didn't go over very well. I know everyone seems to have been struck w/ a nasty case of Olympics-fever, but I just don't get it. I like that the world can come together & celebrate this, I dig sports, I even dig some of the sports in the Olympics, but I just can't watch. For one, some many of the sports seem fake. Not fake like pro-wrestling, but not real sports. Bobsled, luge biathlon... who does this? They seem invented just for the Olympics. Why not include more sports in which real people actually participate like dog-sled or snowmobile racing. Stephanie was wondering how someone becomes an Olympic bobsledder... & we couldn't really figure it out. It must just be that mediocre athletes from other sports get recruited to be stars in a field that no one else ever considered. And then the luge people must just be frustrated bobsledders & the skeleton people must in turn be frustrated lugers.

Conversely, these are ironically the sports I prefer to watch. Of course, I like curling & the skiing events too, but that leads us to the 2nd problem. I hate the way it's covered on TV. We get 4 hour blocks of random shit w/ no clear knowledge of what will be on when. Which then means we have to sit through the random shit for hours before getting 20 minutes of curling or downhill skiing. Many of those hours seem dedicated to figure skating. I know that's what the audience wants (although I have no idea why) & I know that those kids have spent 8 of their 12 years on the planet training for this, but I just don't care. Clearly, it's not a made-up sport like skeleton, but it just doesn't do it for me. And neither does hockey which people often think is weird since I love soccer & hockey & soccer are so similar. I just don't enjoy it though.

My final issue concerns the fact that while I'm trying to watch curling or skiing, I have to suffer through those fluff pieces for 20 minutes. I don't care that Alberto Tomba's cat died when he was 12 or that Hans Brinker lost his inspirational grandfather who had bought him his silver skates. Just make w/ the fucking curling already! That said, you can order your replica Norweigan National Curling Pants here! Order placed baby!

The Big Big Mud Hens trip

We rolled out of Ypsi yesterday afternoon around 3:00ish & got to Tony Packo's around quarter to 4:00. We by-passed the place across from the field & went straight to the original location on Front St. on the south side of the river. Aiden claimed they have the best hot dogs he's ever eaten, & I have to agree. I hadn't had a chili dog in about 3 years, so I took it upon myself to eat 2. They're great. I've been feeling it ever since, but I'm glad I finally got to enjoy a Packo's dog. I'd always wanted to go there... ever since I saw Klinger talking about it when I was a little kid. Once we finished eating, we went to a nice park along the river for a little while before wee headed to the game here's a full game report from the Toledo Blade). Scranton won the 1st game 7-2, & then The Mud Hens evened things up w/ a 2-0 victory in the 2nd game. There were some ridiculous errors & the pitching left something to be desired, but it was definitely a fun time. In fact, I'm sure we'll be going back soon. Aiden & I got hats & he also got a mini bat & a Cub scouts Mud Hens Sleep Over shirt that he's loving. He also scored a mini-batting helmet w/ an ice-cream Sunday in it. Since I'd already had hot-dogs, I went for another, but it wasn't nearly as good as the Packo's one.

After the games, there was a small fire-works display & then they showed Bolt on the big screens while we set up the tent & relaxed. sleeping on the grass got my allergies going something awful, but we slept pretty well until we were awakened @ 7:00 by someone say we had an hour to get out. The packing up went quickly & we stopped @ Waffle House for breakfast in Sylvania, OH before making it home by 9:30. @ Tony Packo's the view from our seats tents in the outfield Aiden @ the tent dawn @ the ball-park

A Big Week

On Saturday, I'm taking Aiden down to Toledo for the big Cub Scouts Father/Son Mudhens Camping Trip. We're seeing a double header against Scranton which will be followed by a fireworks show & then camping in the outfield. The first game starts @ 5:30, but I'm not certain Aiden will be able to stand 2 whole games so we might go a little late. I think we may make a stop @ Tony Packo's beforehand for the full Klinger experience. I've always wanted to go there, so this might be the perfect reason. Speaking of baseball, Elizabeth & Dan are taking Solstice & Aiden to the Tigers game tomorrow night against the Mariners. They've never been to a Tigers game before & they're soooo excited. They're bouncing off the walls over it... or @ least doing their equivalent of bouncing off the wall... talking about it a lot & laying on the couch.In unrelated news, I started the Premier League Fantasy League this week. For those of you who are dying to get involved, go here to make your team & then join the Private League DB2 w/ this code: 261267-65351 . At this point, we're still waiting for Jason, Aiden, & my father to join. I imagine my dad will be a later addition since he's in the hospital right now; Aiden will join whenever he gets me to help him some time this week; however, Jason's late registration is confounding me. Get on it! Those of you who choose to enter but then neglect your team will be removed from the league by October. That will give you a month & a 1/2 to get up to speed... it takes about 2 minutes to register, 10-15 minutes to make your team, & then about 5 minutes a week once the season starts on August 15.The final news of the week comes in the form of a Schwarzenegger-a-thon update. We watched the beginning of True Lies last night: it's good. (Here's a link to his complete filmography.) This brings the Schwarzenegger-a-thon count to 8.
* The Terminator 41/2 out of 5 Stars
* Terminator 2: Judgement Day 5 Stars
* Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines 4 Stars
* Total Recall 2 1/2 Stars
* The Last Action Hero 2 1/2 Stars
* The Running Man 4 Stars
* The 6th Day 3 1/2 Stars
* True Lies 4 1/2 Stars (contingent on the 2nd half tonight)
Stay tuned to Visions of Ypsi for the summer Schwarzenegger recap. I will give a full review of each of the films we view by the end of August.And for the other final news of the week, the Ypsi City Council has its final vote over the chicken issue tomorrow evening. Be sure to contact your Council-Person & urge her or him to support this effort. What is a city w/o chickens? Hopefully, this will lead the way to allowing llamas, bees, & pigs too, but I'm not holding my breath for a hippo. Though Huron River Hippos would be pretty sweet... if not a little dangerous for the local canoers/kayakers.

Sporno

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A Sports Post that is not about the FA Cup Loss Yesterday

You may remember a year ago when I gave you an overview of my Tigers. My 1st was Gibby, then Young, Jones & finally, Renteria who has now gone to the Giants. This year, The Tigers Organization has changed its marketing strategy & are no longer asking "Who's your Tiger?" Instead, they're claiming, "Always a Tiger." However, my fair-weather fandom attests to the fact that this claim is certainly fallacious. That said, I'm sticking w/ the "Who's your Tiger?" approach. I've been thinking about it for a couple weeks now & Finally made a decision. W/ Jones retired & Renteria gone to San Fransisco, it's been an agonizing decision. I considered Grandy for a while. He seems like a true athlete. He can do everything & he's even in good physical condition... someone needs to remind him it's just Baseball. Then I mulled Rodney over for a little while. He had 13 saves last year, & so far this year he has yet to give up a run. He may be on deck to become My Tiger next year. Since we've recapped all of this, w/o further ado, I give you the Visions of Ypsi 2009 Tiger: Marcus Thames.

This is for the Steelers... & Demir

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

Every 4 Years... (& it's not the World Cup or the European Championships) or The Olympic Rant

As the Olympics are beginning tomorrow (yesterday actually, but apparently the official statisticians don't count women's soccer [or the men's matches today for that matter]), I thought a few words about the games might be in order. As a general rule, most of the sports are of little interest too me... I mean, Badminton? Is that really a sport worthy of international celebration? I always just thought it was tennis for Jr. high phys ed. class. It's the Summer Olympic version of Snow Boarding. I only have a few things against Snowboarding, but 1 of them is that it was basically started by people who weren't good enough to be skiers but wanted some sort of Alpine event. That said, I'm sure Hacky Sack & Disc Golf will be Olympic Sports sooner or later too. The history of Badminton dates back to ancient Greece, but I'm a little confused about how they made the plastic birdies back then. I suppose the Iron Age was followed by the Petrochemical Age, but I figured there was a little time in between. And Judo? Why Judo & not Ninjutsu? Ninjas will always be cooler than Judoists (Judi-bears?) (Judo Artists?). Taekwondo is another 1... what are those people called? Taekwondicks? I think that's a pronunciation change that dates back to The Great Vowel Shift (about 2,000 years after the Iron Age). I guess it's difficult to televise Ninjas since they're invisible. I also think Shooting is a funny Olympic sport. I don't know why, but I'm fine w/ Archery but not Shooting. Cross Bowing would be cool, or maybe Catapulting. It could be like Bobsledding: 1 person, 2-person & 4-person events & they'd blindly loft things over walls. Pentathlon is pretty cool though: the shooting is combined w/ Running, Swimming & Equestrian Show Jumping... that's too fucked for anyone to dislike it. The other sports I get: Decathletes are obviously bad-asses, & Synchronized Swimming has had to put up w/ so much criticism over the last 25 years that I'm willing to give it a pass here.

The real issue that bothers me w/ the Olympics though it actually 2-fold.
1) Television:
Coverage is obviously too focused on the little touchy-feely interest pieces about the athletes, but more importantly, to watch diving you have to sit through 3 hours of some douchebag saying, "After the break, diving, but 1st, here's a little coverage of yesterday's Softball competition." That is compounded by the fact that my real interest lies in the soccer competition, & few of the games are shown live or in their entirety.
2) The Soccer Competition:
Although the coverage is bad, the competition is worse which almost makes the lack of coverage almost tolerable (like the Woody Allen joke about the elderly women in the Catskills complaining about the food... tastes bad & small portions), the other issue is in the fact that it's sort of an Under-23 event but every country is allowed to send a few Over-23 full internationals. That means Brian McBride is going for the US, mainly because he is between contracts & has nothing better to do this month. But then Brasil is sending Ronaldinho in an attempt to win their 1st Olympic Gold (they lost to France in the 1984 finals). It is my belief that the games should return to the amateur level they once were. I'm not some Romantic dreaming of the old days, but when Ronaldinho (or NBA stars get to go, it really messes w/ the level of play... Ronaldinho vs some kid from New Zealand isn't really what I want to watch.
The other issue w/ the Soccer competition is the way teams qualify. Simply put, Europe & S. America should get more teams & other regions should get less. It's not like the Kiwis actually have a chance to win it. In other news, be sure to check out Solstice's new post on her blog!

Bicycling & Gender Roles... or No Pain, No Gain

Aiden went to his friend's house after school yesterday which gave Solstice & me the chance to go for a bike ride. Aiden's bicycling proficiency isn't really up to snuff so we have to take these opportunities when they come, & she was so excited about it that she was talking about it from the moment I saw her after school. We decided to take a cruise around the 'hood before ending up @ the park which is where things went awry. We passed Kristen & Natalie & then turned into the parking lot. As I attempted to mount the curb & go to the swing set, my front tire had other plans. I caught the curb & went sailing over the bars & onto the grass. I was almost able to stop myself, but I realized sticking the landing would do more harm than good so I let myself roll over my right shoulder... the whole time Solstice staring w/ mouth agape & eyes wide. I took a hard knock on my left ankle, messed up the left bicep, & did something to my 3 center toes on my right foot. As I looked back to ensure K & N didn't see, Solstice asked if I was hurt. Pissed @ myself, I said, "Obviously... what do think?" To which she responded, "Well, you're not crying & you are a MAN so I thought maybe you aren't hurt." As I picked myself up, I asked her what she meant, & as it turns out, she meant exactly what she said. I had to explain that even her seemingly indestructible father gets hurt once in a while. Furthermore, we got to have a little talk about gender identity & the roles we fill in society based on our gender associations. We hung out on the swings & then went to the other park in the neighborhood where we continued this little talk. She asked me if a man could be a house-keeper. "You mean like Alfred Pennyworth? Of course, although they're usually referred to as 'butlers.' That distinction isn't necessary." People can do whatever job they want, regardless of gender. I asked her what jobs she thought women couldn't have & she said construction worker (luckily, she didn't say drag-queen... or that only women could be Tub-Girls, I don't know how I would have responded). I explained that many women work in the construction industry, & over all, it was a nice opportunity to turn pain & humiliation into a teacherly moment.

Sweet Georgia Brown

The other night, I put the kids to bed and then sat back, ready to watch a movie. Before the movie started, I noticed that the Globetrotters were on. I saw them @ Cobo when I was 14 & ever since then I've thought they were absolutely ridiculous. My friend's parents took us down there, we had dinner in Greek Town & then I had to suffer through their entire schtick. I hated it. The other night though, I had some sort of weird nostalgia for a time I never really knew to begin w/... the days of Meadowlark Lemon & Curly Neal. All I really know of them is from their guest appearances on Scooby Doo. Well, I decided to give it a watch for a while. It was just before half time when I turned it on, & the Globetrotters were losing to the Washington Generals. I had a suspition that the fix was in though & that if I kept watching they might just come back, so I called the kids downstairs to check it out w/ me. The loved the idea that they were getting to stay up late, & then they loved the idea of these goofballs doing basketball tricks. we watched the entire 2nd half & they never stopped laughing. We had a great time, & I think that we'll definitely try to catch them again sometime. Speaking of weird sports tricks, I found these 2 videos today: sort of the Globetrotters of soccer.

Take the Little Kids Bowling... take them bowling

For X-mas, Stacey got us a pass for 3 free games @ Ypsi-Arbor Bowl, & we finally had the chance to use it the other day. Solstice & Aiden had been looking foreward to it for quite some time, & they had a blast. I, too, had a blast seeing as I was able to kick their asses. I'm no Mike Aulby, but I totally smoked them. It was sweet! I didn't even get any gutter balls (of course, they didn't either since we were using the bumpers, but that's not the point). At the end of the game, I cleared the scores before they saw who won because Aiden beat Solstice by about 15 & she would have been crushed. As far as they know, they tied. Aiden actually got a strike w/o even hitting the bumpers, so he had that going for him... later on he also threw the ball so lightly that it stopped about half way down the lane & a dude had to go get it so he could try again. When he got the ball back, I suggested that he go back to using his right hand since he's right handed after all. His response: "I can never remember which hand I am." Awesome! Solstice was more consistent, but she never got the strike or spare she needed to be able to keep pace w/ him. All in all it was a great time. I don't know why we don't do that more. I think I'm going to make a belated New Year's Resolution to go along w/ the other one I made already (make the world a better place) & resolve to go bowling w/ the kids more often. It's fun and super cheap. Afterwards, we went to Pizza Hut & chowed down on the old pan pizza & salad bar. Solstice only wanted salad while Aiden scored a free Personal Pan Pizza after the delivery dude accidentally took his in the car. He had to wait a little longer, but free is free so no complaints!

Holla if You're a Kickballa

W/ Jean going to KY, I was asked to take his place on the Taproom kickball team, The Kickballers. We had our 1st games last night, a double header, & now sit at the top of the table w/ a sweet, sweet record of 2-0. We came from behind to beat Rough Housing in the 7th inning w/ 7 runs to win 14-12. In the 2nd game, we had to come from behind to beat The Bad News Betas 4-3. It was actually a lot of fun, but the mosquitoes were deadly. I would say I spent more time swatting them away than I spent actually playing the game. That's alright though because we won & winning is all that matters. 2nd place is no place! (2 Karate Kid references in 3 posts... at Visions of Ypsi, we always come correct w/ the classics.)

I Made it through the Wilderness

Last night's Tiger's game made 2007 my first multi-game season since 1984. My sister called me about 3:00 to tell me she had a couple free tix & since Jean & Dan already had tix, we made it a nice family outing, particularly since they're all moving away this month. The game sucked though, unless of course you're an Oakland fan. It was the second loss I saw this year, & thinking back to the 1984 season, I never saw a win then either. Seeing as they all had their heads inserted miles up their asses, we left during the 8th inning & headed up Woodward to get a beer at the Garden Bowl, the bad & bowling alley which resides within the Majestic complex. We had a couple beers & were preparing to go when some knucklehead calling himself "The Millionaire" (not to be confused w/ Ted DiBiase) started passing out slips of paper for some good old fashion karaoke. We continued to drink our pitchers of Miller Lite when Elizabeth decided it would be a good idea to perform "I Walk the Line." She was impressive, but not nearly as impressive as the bartender who saw fit to break out "The Humpty Dance." That was pretty sweet, as was the woman who sang "Creep." She went nuts on the "so fucking special" part & inserted a few little references to Detroit. As for myself, I had considered doing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" or "We Built this City," but the former was taken by the very first person to sing & a group of people did a different Starship song so the latter wasn't really a god idea after all. In the end, as it had been a long time since I sang in public, maybe it was fitting that I finally got up there and belted out "Like a Virgin." complete w/ cock rubbing & groin grinding. By 1:45, we were all able to agree that a shitty night at the ballpark ended up pretty well & a good time was had by everyone.
I made it through the wilderness
Somehow I made it through
Didn't know how lost I was
Until I found you

I was beat incomplete
I'd been had, I was sad and blue
But you made me feel
Yeah, you made me feel
Shiny and new

Like a virgin
Touched for the very first time
Like a virgin
When your heart beats
Next to mine

Gonna give you all my love, boy
My fear is fading fast
Been saving it all for you
'Cause only love can last

You're so fine and you're mine
Make me strong, yeah you make me bold
Oh your love thawed out
Yeah, your love thawed out
What was scared and cold

Like a virgin
Touched for the very first time
Like a virgin
With your heartbeat
Next to mine

Oooh, oooh, oooh

You're so fine and you're mine
I'll be yours 'till the end of time
'Cause you made me feel
Yeah, you made me feel
I've nothing to hide

Like a virgin
Touched for the very first time
Like a virgin
With your heartbeat
Next to mine

Like a virgin, ooh, ooh
Like a virgin
Feels so good inside
When you hold me, and your heart beats, and you love me

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, baby
Can't you hear my heart beat
For the very first time?

The Celtic Festival

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This Past Weekend

On Father's Day, we had a nice brunch and then proceeded to my game. Although the season ends next week, this was my last game because I'm taking my dad to the Gold Cup Final at Soldier Field in Chicago next Sunday. Being my last game, I decided to make the most of it and score a SWEET SWEET goal while my kids cheered from the sideline. It was awesome. My brother then proceeded to get a shutout in goal and we won 1-0. I know you all love the soccer updates on here, so while this one is basically done, you can rest assured an Arsenal post will follow shortly as the schedule was just released as were Arsenal's new jerseys... not to mention the major transfer news that is supposed to be released soon.

Yesterday, I had to take my kids to Brighton to meet up w/ their mom and we drove through Taco Bell on the way. My daughter wanted a soft taco w/ beans instead of meat, but believe it or not, the Taco Bell taco engineers weren't on their game and gave her a beef taco. I'd gone over the order 3 or 4 times w/ the drive through guy so the fact that I then had to go inside pissed me off. It pissed my daughter off too; she even asked the dude at the register how hard it really is to make a bean taco. After she and I over reacted for a few minutes and were feeling absolutely like the bad mother fuckers we are, the "Theme to Shaft" came on their in-store radio. It was perfect. She didn't quite understand, but it was almost as sweet as my goal. We were both the cats that wouldn't cop out, in fact, we made Shaft look like Shaft in Africa!

On my way home from Brighton, I had to take back-roads due to the construction, and as I passed the Argo Livery in Ann Arbor, I decided, on a whim, to go kayaking. I hadn't been canoeing in years, & I'd never gone kayaking before, but the day was so beautiful and I just happened to have a little cash on me so I threw down the 24 bucks & had a great time. The fact that I'd never been in a kayak was made abundantly clear when I tried to pull over to the side but made a 90 degree turn & got caught in the current & subsequently flipped over & sank. The sat the kayak on the bottom of the Huron River while my flip-flops, my hat, my shirt & my life preserver were floating away. I saved all but the hat & finally pulled the kayak to shore and emptied it out. Not before a few people saw though. Maybe I'm not quite the bad mother fucker I'd been lead to believe I was.

No, I am, as evidenced by happy hour at Haabs. I met Greg for a drink at Sidetrack and then went to Haabs to meet up w/ Stacey. People had been telling me to go there for quite a while, but for some reason I never did. Holy Shit!!! It's awesome. Drinks & appetizers are all 2 bucks each. I had 2 Manhattans, an Old Fashioned, & shrimp cocktail while Stacey had a gin and tonic, an old fashioned & a rusty nail. We both slapped down 10 bucks & were out of there drunk as skunks. I proceeded to my brother's softball game & then to the Tap Room for a couple more beers.

Fucking Hippies & Fucking Mets Fans

Hair was fantastic! While I was excited to see Brook, I didn't know what to expect in terms of the production itself. Bearing in mind that community theater can often run the gambit from great to shit, one never knows. Not to mention the fact that it's about a bunch of singing hippies (in general, I liked that more when it was called The Grateful Dead). Community theater + singing hippies could really suck, but they pulled it off well. I didn't remember the characters very well, so I was surprised when I realized what a big role Brook had. Her character, Jeanie, is preggers from some one night stand w/ (from what I could gather) some speed freak, but she was in love w/ Claude, the main character who ends up unable to avoid the draft & dieing in Viet Nam. Although she did a great job, I was a bit confused by a few of her lines. At one point, she was talking about how it didn't matter what drugs she did while knocked up & then took a hit off of a joint. It seemed sarcastic and as if the writers were making some tougne-in-cheek anti-drug statement @ that point. This is obviously not a problem w/ Brook's performance, but rather just w/ the writing. Anther probelm I had w/ the writing came in the form of a cheesy little joke. While they're all sitting around getting stoned, some super-cute hippie chick says, "As Mary Magdalene said, 'Jesus, I'm getting stoned.'" A cute little joke, except from what I remember, she never got stoned. Why they used her name and not the name of a saint who was actually stoned to death, I don't know. From what I can remember, there is no Biblical story about her death. Then again, I'm basing this on info from high school, so I could be wrong. Even if I am wrong about Mary Magdalene, I'm certainly right about Brook's performance. Kudos to you Brook... very well done.
Not quite so well done was the Tigers' hitting last night. My brother & my brother-in-law bought tickets to a World Series game that didn't end up happening & rather than just getting a refund, they got some huge ticket package for this season... every Friday night game & a bunch of games earlier in the week. Well, my brother couldn't go yesterday so I took his ticket and went down there w/ Dan. Their seats are right behind the bull pen so we got to yell at Guillermo Mota the whole time about the fact that he just returned from a 50 game suspension due to Steroid use. "With all that juice in your veins, you should be throwing it faster than that you fucking cheater!" Dan also gave Billy Wagner some shit over the fact that he goes by Billy which was ironic because Dan's father always calls him Danny. We also got to have a little fun @ the expense of some kid in front of us in a David Wright t-shirt, but he had the last laugh as Dan was giving him shit while Wright stepped to the plate and proceeded to hit a home run. The kid, Rocco, claimed to have just graduated from Boston College & was spending his summer following the Mets around. I told him that it'd be a really sweet vacation if only he was following a cooler team. In the end, the Mets won 3-0, I drank 2 beers @ a bar before we left, one @ the Elwood across the street, 2 during the game, & 3 more @ the Elwood after the game. The beer at the Elwood before the game was warm & skunked though and the first beer we ordered inside was a Bud but the guy gave us Bud lights, which I learned if you really suck on it and let it evaporate a bit, almost have flavor. Aside from the loss, the only downside to the game was the fact that my Tiger didn't play.