Sunday, July 15, 2007

The Celtic Festival

As most of you are aware, The Saline Celtic Festival occurred this weekend. I took the kids out there on Thursday night to watch some Rugby which was pretty cool. We watched Detroit RFC v Flint Rogues RFC (or at least I did; the kids played on the nearby playground most of the time).The women's game was 1st & Detroit rolled over Flint 68-0, but the men's game was much better. I wish there was more Rugby on TV. The Fox Soccer Channel used to be Fox Sports World & they showed that type of stuff more. I like the idea of channels devoted totally to soccer, but between seasons, I can only watch re-runs of Arsenal beating Man U so many times. That's a bad example; I could watch that every day for the rest of my life.On Friday night, as many of you are also aware, I went to out to the Festival beer tent w/ Laura & Stacey. We met up w/ Laurie & Pete & then I was treated like a piece of meat as I was paraded across a stage in the "Mr. Pretty Legs (in a kilt)" contest. That little bit of objectification was alright I suppose, but I'm still coming to terms w/ the fact that those women only saw me as legs in a kilt. I have a mind too, you know. I'm more than just soccer legs & tartan. Well, after prancing my ass across the stage a few time, I won the contest. I beat the other 10 contestants & won a crown, a sash, a sweet walking stick (that I considered my scepter), & a gift bag w/ Walkers shortbread, a can of some energy drink & some medicated body power which came in handy yesterday after walking around the festival all day yesterday w/ my kids & dealing w/ the chafing that always goes w/ kilted walking in the summer. More importantly, I won the bragging rights & the hearts of all of those horny 30-mid 40 something women. I even got my picture taken w/ the mayor of Saline. I was drunk and started flirting w/ her, but I don't think she minded too much. In fact, a couple more beers & I might have had a chance w/ her. I think I won because Laura brought me amore beer while I was on stage & because Stacey had me all psyched up for it as she was my self-proclaimed coach. Speaking of drinking, they had 1/2 gallon jugs of Murphy's for 10 bucks which made the contest that much more funny. Not to mention the flask of Glenfiddich... This little victory made me some sort of local celebrity. Random women were grabbing my ass (which is offensive & uncalled-for) & women wanted their pictures w/ me all day yesterday. I even ran into a couple people at the Shadow Art Fair who recognized me. After the beer tent, we all went to Jules' for his fairwell party. He's movig to San Fran next week. It was a good time & we got to hang out w/ a house full of great people.Speaking of yesterday, I took the kids to the festival w/ my mom & we had a great time. We met up w/ Dawn, her son & her mom for a little bit too. As I said, all day people were asking me about my victory the night before & wanting pictures. It was hilarious. So many people asked me where my crown was I finally put it on & wore it around. Most people were looking at me wondering "Why the fuck is that asshole wearing a crown?" However, the 30-45ish women/MILFs all seemed to know what was up. The kids had a great time playing in the HUGE play area, riding the little Celtic rides & watching the sword fighting. Aiden even got lessons. He was so attentive to the instructions. By far, the youngest kid in the lessons, he was listening so hard & really trying to follow along. Solstice got a new Celtic doll... she's been collecting them since we started going to these things & has a bunch now. We also saw the Hairy Cows, the Border Collies, some enormous horses & the vendors tents. It rained during lunch, but that just meant that we needed to sit inside & enjoy another beer while the kids ate ice-cream. Other than that the weather was great & we had a fantastic time. There are more pictures up on my myspace page for those of you who just can't get enough of this cheesiness.


Warren said...

Snort! You still owe me $100 for the bribing of the judges. I wanna see this walking stick. And do you have to hand over the crown next year? Rock on, Andre!

Andre said...

Yeah, I have to hand over the crown so I think that means I am not eligable for a repeat victory.

Laura Jacquez said...

I sincerely enjoyed being your beer wench, King Andre.