Tuesday, September 30, 2008

This, That, & the Other

To start, we have a nice pair of Aiden stories to present. I was in bed the other night w/ Stephanie & the baby watching Sixteen Candles when he came into the room & started screwing around on the floor behind me. I need to preface this w/ the fact that I'd had some Indian food & was feeling a rumbley in my tumbley (as Winnie the Pooh would say). He had recently deuced so I thought little of it when he said he didn't think he'd wiped well, but as I rolled over to look @ him I was definitely not ready for the ol' brown eye, complete w/ Klingons & fudge, that was staring back @ me while he demonstrated his lack of wiping proficiency. The Saag & the Chick Pea Curry made a bee-line for my throat & it was all I could do to keep from hurling all over the bed. He & Stephanie cracked up, but I don't think I'll ever be the same.Then yesterday morning, I was tying my shoe when Stephanie made the obligatory "while you're down there" joke. Aiden then asked her if I was trying to see her "Woman Penis." Woman Penis??? Really? I thought we'd done such a good job raising them w/o these kinds of terms. While Freud would love it, Stephanie was quick to set him straight... which also made it possible for her to avoid the point of her little joke. Explaining cunnilingus to a 7 year old might be a bit more than he could handle. Especially considering that when I tried to explain contraceptives to Solstice the other day (in reference to the Seinfeld episode "The Sponge") she, & 9 years old, was horrified to learn that people have sex when they aren't trying to make a baby. At least she acted that way. When I was 9, I was already trying to do it, so maybe she just pretended to be shocked.The new Whitey Morgan CD, Honky Tonks and Cheap Motels, came out last week... it's fantastic. They recorded a new version of "If it ain't Broke" w/ some nice pedal steel work. It's a little slower than the previous version w/ a cool shuffle to it. Don't fret over the fact that Amazon added an "N" to his name, making him "Whitney Morgan," it's the same old Whitey w/ the 78s that you all know & love. And after the Visions of Ypsi endorsements sent so many candidates to their victory parties last month, maybe this one will send Whitey and the boys up the charts. Here's the track list:
1. Hold Her When She Cries
2. Crazy (not the Willie Nelson song)
3. If It Ain't Broke
4. Back to Back
5. Cheatin' Again
6. Honky Tonk Angel
7. I'm on Fire (the Bruce Springsteen song)
8. Another Round
9. Goodbye Dixie
10. Love and Honor
11. Prove It All to You
12. Sinner

In soccer news, the kids did the same this week that they did last week. Solstice's team kicked ass (I had to switch from a 2-1-2 formation to a 3-1-1 to try to get them to stop scoring. I was afraid the other team was going to cry. If only Aiden's team had this problem. Practice went well last night though so maybe they're about to turn the corner. Speaking of turning the corner, Arsenal went down in a shocking 2-1 defeat to Hull City on Saturday. They need to turn things around too, if they don't want to make it 2 straight home defeats tonight when they face Porto in the Champions League. While they only lost by 1, my team lost 7-2 on Sunday. It wasn't a pretty sight. We seemed to be pulling things together by the last quarter, but we were certainly shaky. This after our goalie broke his ankle & tore all the ligaments the week before. We're now 3-1, w/ only 3 4 matches left, so @ the half-way point, we're still doing pretty well, but next week will be quite a test for us.

4 comments:

the78s said...

oh man oh man...I can't believe Amazon did that...fockers...who is this Whitney chick that sings with us?? and that's why I can't find it on Amazon's page when I looked this morning...

Thanks for picking it up...and the rousing endorsement...
cheers my friend...and hold that Indian grub down...

I ain't having kids...thanks for reminding me of one more reason why...

Jeremy

Stephanie said...

Aiden's comment was even better than you wrote- he was asking about my "woman weiner". And then he was telling me that weiner is a much better word than penis. Oh my.

Andre said...

Woman Weiner is definitely better. I like the alliteration.

Happy Housewife said...

I'm still sitting here in shock that S. said the old "while You're down there.." thing.