Spring Sing

My son had the kindergarten spring music concert today, The Spring Sing. Afterwards, the principal thanked us all for coming so much... I think she meant to thank us so much for coming, but maybe I missed something. Namely, some sort of hot bukkake action elsewhere in the school. Not only did I miss the rumored facial down the hall, but I nearly missed the entire concert because 2 Tons of Fun sitting next to me wouldn't shut his immense pie-hole the entire time. He sat sideways so as to talk to who I think were his wife and mother-in-law the whole fucking time. Lardo even took a fucking phone call and we were in the 3rd row. The only thing lamer than his actions is the public airing of my grievance on this blog. If you happen to be that sad fat-ass:
FUCK YOU and the family members to whom you were talking the whole time. The fact that you couldn't tell the other parents were getting more and more annoyed as the concert went on only shows your lack of social skills, or the fact that you were just really focused on getting a sandwich afterwards.
The other thing that happened was that my son's class sang "Yankee Doodle Dandy." I only mention this because I'd never really thought about the lyrics before, but young Yankee Doodle is gay. It's even right there in the title yet I've never heard anyone discuss it. As far as I know, that's the only definition of a "dandy." When I asked my ex why he is referred to as a dandy, she asked why he calls a feather a noodle. My only explanation is that he has "noodle" on the brain. Check out this painting by Norman Rockwell; even he seems to portray Yankee Doodle as queer. And to think assholes like George Bush work so hard to keep homosexuals out of the military, all the while, the poster-boy for our patriotic fighting force is, you know... "one of those types."