Sunday, December 2, 2007

Holiday Post #5: Martinis & Pickles

Friday night, a group of people from work went to Goodnight Gracie's for Emily's b-day. We had a great time & Emily got completely shithoused on some froo-froo fancy-ass martinis like the Chocolate Covered Strawberry & something that tasted like a White Russian. She was so drunk that @ the end of the night, I had to help Jenny get her back to Jenny's car 5 blocks away... "keep walking... there's a curb here, don't trip... I said, there's was a curb there...." I, on the other hand, was a responsible adult & just had a couple Rob Roys which were pretty good, but that bar is way too expensive. It's trying to be something out of Sex and the City, but it doesn't quite cut it. Also, it's really small, but the band felt they needed to be amplified for a large ballroom. The other problem w/ the band is that they were one trick ponies. Their improvisation was cool, but needed some more texture to really fill it out. The other problem I had w/ them is more personal... blues just doesn't really do it for me; it all kinda sounds the same. I recognized the bass player though; I think I worked w/ him at Borders a few years ago. Theoretically, Kristen will be posting some pictures of the night on her facebook profile some time soon.

Last night, I went to Nik & Jim's for a tree-trimming/hide the pickle/naked cookie party... here are the top 5 things I learned:
5) When one is on a road in Farmington called "Metroview," that person shouldn't be surprised when there is neither a metropolis nor a view. Similarly, when in Farmington & on a road called "Green Hills," there are no hills & nothing is green.
4) Ryan knows way way way too much about television.
3) When people have tree-trimming parties, it's really just a way to get out of decorating their own trees. It's like when Tom Sawyer tricks the other kids into white-washing the fence. W/ this in mind, I'd like to invite you all over for a bathroom cleaning party. It'll be sweet.
2) Germans are fucking weird. There is this tradition, "Weihnachtsgurke," of hiding a glass pickle ornament in the tree & then having everyone look for it: the winner gets a present. Only the culture that produced Schumacher and Hitler could have come up w/ this. Of course, Hitler wasn't actually German, & according to Wikipedia neither is the X-mas pickle. My wiki-info suggests that it's really an American tradition which has been wrongly associated w/ German culture. Then again, the Wikipedia entry for Nathaniel Hawthorne used to begin "Nathaniel Hawthorne, who liked to stay up late having hot gay butt sex,..." so I'm not sure what to believe.
1) Naked cookie decorating means that the cookies are naked, not the decoraters. This was a bit of a let down. Maybe if we'd opened up the bottle of tequila it would have been different. I guess there's always next year.
Here are a few pictures from the evening:

Shannon, Nicole, Kristen & Nik decorating naked cookies

Joe, Rachel, Jim, Nik, Kristen & Emily trimming the tree

In the X-mas fucking spirit
Again, Emily is offended by something I said

9 comments:

jason said...

Are you saying that Nathaniel Hawthorne didn't stay up late having hot gay butt sex? Cuz that's that's what I learned in Mr. Kessel's history class.

Andre said...

I highly doubt JFK said that.

Ypsipearl said...

I like the pickle tradition, I've never heard of that before. I personally would hide a dildo, and it would symbolize a wish for the fertility of nature for the coming year.

Uncle Meat said...

Hide the dildo has been a holiday tradition in my family for a long time. As has hide the salami.

Ypsipearl said...

That is positively heartwarming! So would that symbolize a wish for fertility for the year to come, as well as for a year OF cum?

Andre said...

Hey now, I'm trying to maintain an upstanding, classy blog here. Now I have to deal w/ these dildo comments.

Ypsipearl said...

Dildos are upstanding.

jason said...

Here's a holiday gift for you Andre:

http://www.nomas-nyc.com/product_nativeamerican.html

Andre said...

Thanks man... I really appreciate it.