Sunday, February 15, 2009

Not Even Omar Sharif Could Save This Film

He only had a couple scenes, & what he did was fantastic, but it was simply too little too late. We watched The Last Templar this week (it is a 2 part mini series... we finished it last night). It has the production value of a decent Skinemax softcore & the acting inabilities of Mira Sorvino, which come together in an awful blend of awesomeness. I could definitely see this being 1 of those crap-ass films that I'll get sucked into every time it's on like Waterworld or a Roger Moore James Bond film. In fact, Waterworld is a good comparison, but Waterworld had a bigger budget w/ better effect. It's certainly no Flash Gordon or Clash of the Titans though.I haven't seen many of her films, but I'm beginning to wonder if the Oscar for her role as a hooker in Mighty Aphrodite was a bit generous... playing a trashy whore seems to be her 1 true talent.The Last Templar has gotten me thinking about other Archaeological Action/Adventures of the last 30 years & how it compares to them. Obviously, Indiana Jones tops the list, but here is a list of the ten that stand out & how The Last Templar fits in.
1) Romancing the Stone
2) The Man who Would Be King... not an Indy rip-off... 5 years prior to Indy based on the Kipling novella
3) King Solomon's Mines (the Richard Chamberlain Version... based on the Haggard novel from 100 years earlier, but only made o cash in on Indy fun)
4) Firewalker
5) Jewel of the Nile
6) National Treasure
7) The Mummy
8) The Librarian
9) Pit Fall (the Atari 2600 game... I'd rather watch someone play this than watch Tomb Raider)
10) Tomb Raider
11) The Last Templar


peltierinator said...

I would put the kingdom of the crystal skull right after Pit Fall. That game is awesome.

cmadler said...

I was only able to stomach the first 5-10 minutes of the first half of this miniseries; I guess it didn't get much better.

I'd probably put "The Man Who Would Be King" at #1 (yes, even ahead of Indiana Jones), but otherwise agree with your list.

Happy Housewife said...

I just had to say that I love Romancing the Stone. I can't justify it, I just do.

Andre said...

The problem w/ The Man Who Would be King isa that it's too good to be the top of a list of crappy b-adventures. John Huston, Sean Connery and Micheal Cain are just too talented.

As far as The Last Templar is concerned... TRAIN WRECK... I couldn't look away.