Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Growth Spurt

I woke up this morning 'round 7ish to take a nice early morning #2 after which I came to a strange realization about myself. Obviously, like most men, my best thinking is done while partaking in that activity, but this epiphany came afterwards. I stepped foreword for the customary washing of the hands (my fingers didn't go through the paper or anything, there was in fact no hand to ass contact), when I noticed I had to bend down a little further than usual @ the sink. I looked in the mirror & noticed that my head seemed closer to the top than usual. Later, while making tea, I seemed to be looking down on Stephanie more than ever before... not in the smug, I'm better than everyone way, but in the I'm taller than I was way. I can't imagine how this sudden growth is possible, & I haven't actually grabbed a yard stick to verify this, but everything seems different today. Maybe we're talking about a late puberty. I just don't know, but I suppose I may finally be growing into my name. I don't know how to use this to my advantage yet, but maybe it'll help my in my games... which brings me to my other issue for the day (this part of the post is mainly for the KY and Japan people). I got 2 goals in our 3-2 loss on Sunday. In general, my team played pretty well, but there are a couple new guys who may not be long for the team. The 1st pissed me off over & over & over; the 2nd showed up drunk & unable to really play until he sobered up for the 4th quarter. Now, I have no problem w/ inebriation on the field, but when it interferes w/ the play I won't stand for it! As far as my 2 goals go, we were down in the last quarter when Pat laid the ball off to me about 45 yards out. I don't usually do this, but I beat a defender and let it go. I noticed the goalie was out, & it actually worked. This may be my 1st goal from so far out ever. They immediately scored which put us 3-1 down, but w/ a couple minutes left, Ben laid it off to me in the D, I beat the same defender, but to the left this time, & slotted it in from about 12 yards. Overall, it was pretty sweet, but as I'm going to have to miss the next game for a wedding in Chicago, the team may have to find a different, slow defensive mid-fielder to start getting some. That's right folks, I've got 4 in as many games. It seems as though playing on that shitty indoor team really helped my confidence... I'm just like Cristiano Ronaldo... but not as gay.

7 comments:

peltierinator said...

your totally as gay as christiano.

Andre said...

You might be right, but unlike you I know the difference between a contraction and a possessive.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, you know how to contract your butt cheeks at just the right time when we're making love in the butt.

Andre said...

That is just one of my many skills.

Daye said...

I am hurt. I am neither KY nor Japan. and yet I EAGERLY await my vicarious futbol fix. I am obviously NOT your number one fan like I thoughts I wuz.

dan said...

No worries there, you're still the number one fan. At least you got Japan beat!

How'd I do I do with my contraction/possessive thing Dre?

Andre said...

You did great Dan. I wouldn't expect anything less from you.

Wendy, I didn't realize you cared. I'll keep that in mind when I write about the Champion's League Final tomorrow.