Monday, June 11, 2007

A Double at Wendy's

Friday, before I went to the Tigers' game, I had to drop my kids off @ their mom's house which, for those of you under rocks or w/ heads in your asses, is over an hour away. Afterwards, I was planning on a nice drive to Dan and Elizabeth's house which means I had to take a different way home from my ex's. All was fine & good until about 15 minutes before I got to her house when I got that feeling in my gut... the one that says, "Get your ass to a toilet and quick!" Well, I couldn't stomach the idea of defaming her John like that, so I quickly dropped off the kids and hit the road looking for a public restroom. When deciding on a public lu, a 2 things have to be considered, not the least of which is its location, meaning, "How close is it to where I am?" I knew that if I took the main road out of her little town, I would pass some gas stations and such, but they were all pretty nasty looking which is the second issue when chosing which head in which to unload: cleanliness. I then saw the Golden Arches, & every traveler knows their cans are usually pretty clean. The problem came when I got closer & realized it was on the other side of the road. This wouldn't usually be a problem, but there was a lot of traffic & I would have to wait a while to turn left. At this point, waiting didn't appear to be a good option, but I consulted the old Magic 8 Ball just in case. "Is waiting 90 seconds to turn left a safe bet for the interior of my car (not to mention the interior of my shorts)? "Not likely." Why the Wendy's on the right didn't jump out at me from the start, I don't know, but I pulled in there & ran to the Men's room as fast as I could. As it turns out, Wendy's, not being a very popular resturant, is able to maintain a rather clean bathroom. Now, considering I've been vegitarian since 1993, you may be wondering what this has to do with a the old Wendy's Double. That's a good question, and I'd have to say absolutely nothing. What it does have to do w/ is the burger I gave them; the old double flush I unloaded in the captain's quarters. I've never nearly destroyed a toilet before, but this was something to behold. Truly awesome in the Biblical sense. In closing, all was fine & as explained in the post about the game, we had a good time. In closing, I want to remind you, dear reader, not to be offended or simply "grossed out" by this story. Those of you who know me, know it was only a matter of time before this became a bloggable topic. Now go enjoy your burger.

6 comments:

Stacey said...

Thanks for sharing. Maybe you need to keep some of those astronaut diapers in your truck.

Temporary like Achilles said...

Not a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all.

jason said...

Did you Subway in the Wendy's bathroom?

Here's a little treat I found for you. You Maggie Gyllenhall loving freak.

http://www.egotastic.com/entertainment/celebrities/maggie-gyllenhaal/maggie-gyllenhaal-breast-feeding-in-public-002518

Andre said...

I have no qualms w/ public breast feeding. It bothers me when people are offended by it. While tits are generally hot, while breast feeding it's a different thing and breast feeding is something that should never be shunned.

Cudos to her for not feering the public backlash that so often occurs when people dchoose to do that.

Andre said...

Sorry about the shitty syntax in that previous comment.

Daye said...

two words..hot and juicy..