A Double at Wendy's

Friday, before I went to the Tigers' game, I had to drop my kids off @ their mom's house which, for those of you under rocks or w/ heads in your asses, is over an hour away. Afterwards, I was planning on a nice drive to Dan and Elizabeth's house which means I had to take a different way home from my ex's. All was fine & good until about 15 minutes before I got to her house when I got that feeling in my gut... the one that says, "Get your ass to a toilet and quick!" Well, I couldn't stomach the idea of defaming her John like that, so I quickly dropped off the kids and hit the road looking for a public restroom. When deciding on a public lu, a 2 things have to be considered, not the least of which is its location, meaning, "How close is it to where I am?" I knew that if I took the main road out of her little town, I would pass some gas stations and such, but they were all pretty nasty looking which is the second issue when chosing which head in which to unload: cleanliness. I then saw the Golden Arches, & every traveler knows their cans are usually pretty clean. The problem came when I got closer & realized it was on the other side of the road. This wouldn't usually be a problem, but there was a lot of traffic & I would have to wait a while to turn left. At this point, waiting didn't appear to be a good option, but I consulted the old Magic 8 Ball just in case. "Is waiting 90 seconds to turn left a safe bet for the interior of my car (not to mention the interior of my shorts)? "Not likely." Why the Wendy's on the right didn't jump out at me from the start, I don't know, but I pulled in there & ran to the Men's room as fast as I could. As it turns out, Wendy's, not being a very popular resturant, is able to maintain a rather clean bathroom. Now, considering I've been vegitarian since 1993, you may be wondering what this has to do with a the old Wendy's Double. That's a good question, and I'd have to say absolutely nothing. What it does have to do w/ is the burger I gave them; the old double flush I unloaded in the captain's quarters. I've never nearly destroyed a toilet before, but this was something to behold. Truly awesome in the Biblical sense. In closing, all was fine & as explained in the post about the game, we had a good time. In closing, I want to remind you, dear reader, not to be offended or simply "grossed out" by this story. Those of you who know me, know it was only a matter of time before this became a bloggable topic. Now go enjoy your burger.