Friday, November 28, 2008

Of all the Douchebags on The Food Network...

Which of these is the douchebaggiest?
I've narrowed it down to 3. Emeril Lagasse doesn't count because he's no longer the face of the network. Instead, they've given us these asshats. Which 1 gets your vote? We can use this mini-election as a practice run for the build up to the big end of the year celebration here @ Visions of Ypsi. And while we're thinking about that, don't forget to start considering who you'll nominate for the 4th Annual Celebrity MILF of the Year Award. Now, w/o further ado, here are your 3 choices for the lead Douche on The Food Network:
Guy Fieri: Host of an otherwise pretty cool show, Diners, Drive-ins & Dives
"Hey brah, who's up for some sick beer-pong?"


Mario Batali: Iron Chef & host of countless mediocre cooking shows including 1 called Mario Eats Italy... & by looking @ him, I wonder if maybe he actually did. Here's a picture of the man who, like George Lucas, wears a beard solely to let people know where his face ends & his neck begins
"Bonus points if you can find my chin before I sweat all over you"


Bobby Flay: The Iron Chef whose frat-boy good looks only mask his frat-boy date-rapist personality. This dude creeps me out! Along w/ being an Iron Chef, he has also hosted an ass load of shows including Boy Meets Grill.
"Hey baby, I've got a box of wine w/ your name on it in the back seat of my sweet ride!"

10 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Guy also does the Applebees commercials. He is by far the worst because we have to put up with him the most.

Andre said...

I forgot about the commercials wich is ironic because that's what originally inspired me to write this.

jason said...

I haven't seen Batali much, but I have no problem with Flay and Fieri. I especially like Throwdown with Bobby Flay. He doesn't seem like a Frat boy to me, but he does remind me of Kevin O'Connell from Entourage.

LauraJ23 said...

i was watching food network yesterday, and 'diners, driveins and dives' was on and it was all about pancakes. There was this place that served lunch items like club sandwiches on a pancake. it looked tasty. i love that show.

but guy fieri is by far the biggest douche of them all. his excessive use of the word "bra" earns him that title. and he uses way too much gel.

Andre said...

He actually uses that word? i wrote that because he seems like he would, but I never really noticed it.

Anonymous said...

Batali is off the Food Network nowadays, except in repeats. I always liked his shows, though he's doing one now on public TV right now where Gwenth Paltrow (of all people) drives around with him in Spain. It's so-so at best. In any event, Mario is disqualified since he isn't there anymore, kind of like Emeril. And he isn't a douche anyway.

It is true that Guy can be kind of douchey, but I kinda like the diners, drive-ins, and dives show. They even made a trip to Blimpy Burger in AA. So no, its not him.

Clearly, the biggest and brightest douchebag of all on the food network is Bobby Flay. There is nothing about him that is not douchebag-like. Hands down. An easy contest.

Stephanie said...

Triple D, as he is refering to it lately is a pretty cool show, in spite of his annoyingness.

Mario is still on Iron Chef America which is hosted by Alton Brown (who is one of my faves on the channel).

Andre said...

Who is posting anonymously? Show yourself!

jason said...

Last night I was talking to this chick and it turns out that she works at a place that was featured on that Diners & Drive Ins show just this past Friday. I asked if Guy was a douchebag and she said that he was very cool. However, the owner lady of the place is a huge bitch and she was totally rude to all of the people that called after seeing the show.

Andre said...

That's a pretty odd business choice.