From the Halls of Montezuma

Andre's Top Twenty WWII Films: You'll notice there's no reference to John Wayne or Ronald Reagan. And really, it's mainly because I've never actually seen any of their WWII films. That said, there are a couple on this list that I've never seen, but I feel should probably be included none-the-less.

20) Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo (1944): A much better depiction of the bombing of Tokyo than Pearl Harbor could ever dream to be. Best porno spoof title: Thirty Seconds Inside Tokyo (in this scenario, Tokyo is an Asian woman... not a city).
19) The Dirty Dozen (1967): One of the 1st films I thought of, but really a bit over-rated. It's the 1st appearance of Borgnine, Sunderland, & Bronson on this list. Best porno spoof title: The Dirty Bakers Dozen (a fun little gang-bang film).
18) Schindler's List (1993): I haven't seen this since it was in the theaters. I saw it @ the Penn in Plymouth after we got home from the Hash Bash. Best porno spoof title: Schindler's Lisp (yeah... it's got an all male cast).
17) Saving Private Ryan (1998): I've actually never seen this. I suppose I should. Best porno spoof title: Fisting Private Ryan (some people prefer Saving Ryan's Privates, but a fisting reference is always better than no fisting reference).
16) Stalag 17 (1953): A great film that was then spoofed by Hogan's heroes. Best porno Spoof title: Stalag 69 (I know... too obvious).
15) Tora, Tora, Tora (1970): A great multi-ethnic, mutli-language film. BSPT: Whora, Whora, Whora (yeah, I guess that'll work).
14) Bridge on the River Kwai (1957): neither my fav david Lean, nor my fav Alec Guinness, but it's the only WWII movie they made that I can think of, & it's good... it's just no Lawrence of Arabia. BPST: Bridge over the River Quim (This was a tough one... if you've got better titles, feel free to post 'em).
13) Objective, Burma! (1945): The only Errol Flynn to make the list. It's a fun B movie. I watch it every time it's on. BPST: Errol Flynn's Erotic Jungle Adventure (my first thought was Objective, Booty, but went w/ the more classy, conceptual option).
12) Inglorius Bastards (2009): Time will tell w/ this one... it may climb the list & enter the top 10 some day. BPST: Inglorious Ass-Tards (it's about chicks who are stoopid for anal... I apologize for the offensive title, but if that's really the thing about this post that offends you, you need to re-prioritize your offense-o-meter).
11)Inglorius Bastards (1978): Anothere movie w/ the same title... it's much more fun, plus there's Fred Williamson! BPST: Glory-Hole Bastards (coming up w/ a 2nd one wasn't easy).
10) The Longest Day (1962): Epic about Normandy. It's pretty sweet! BPST: The Longest Gay (??? does that even make sense?)
9) Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade (1989): It's no raiders, but it's pretty fantastic. BPST: Indy does İskenderun (it's on the Pilgrim trail from the Eastern Empire).
8) Merrill's Marauders (1962): Basically the same movie as Objective, Burma but w/ a more unknown cast & w/ more ridiculousness. BPST: Marion's Marauders (another gang-bang flick, but this one w/ some Happy Days references).
7) From Here to Eternity (1953): This is the 2nd film on the list to feature Ernest Borgnine. We watched it again last night... it's got some interesting sexual tension... especially between Montgomery Cliff & Burt Lancaster. BPST: From Here to Eternity: The Director's Cut (it's got all the hot Cliff on Lancaster stuff that was originally left on the cutting room floor).
6) The Great Escape (1963): Rarely does my love for POW movies dove-tail into my love for James Garner... sweet! Plus, it's the 2nd appearance of Charles Bronson. BPST: The Great Ass-scape (I phoned that one in).
5) To Be or Not to Be (1942): Before Hogan's Heroes, Jack Benny was making the Nazis look freaking hilarious. The Mel Brooks remake is good, but see the original. BPST: To Pee or Not to Pee (a little golden shower fun).
4) Kelly's Heroes (1970): The other movie w/ Sunderland... as a stoned hippie tank commander who helps Eastwood & company get behind Nazi lines & rob a bank. It's like Three Kings w/ a lot of pot. BPST: Kelly's Herpes (he gets behind Nazi lines, goes to a brothel, & the rest is history).
3) Victory (1981): I've said so much about this one over the years, that it really needs no more discussion. BPST: Deep Inside Micheal Caine (It's better than it sounds).
2) Raiders of the Lost Arc (1981): Pure Awesome. What more is there to say? BPST: Nazi Monkeys (a little fetish fun... unlike the original, no monkeys die in this one... they probably wish they did though).
1) Casablanca (1942): Clearly my favorite. It's in my top 5 movies of all time so it's obviously numero uno here. I saw it for the 1st time @ the Michigan Theater about 12 years ago. It kind of pisses me off that I'd gone 233 years w/o seeing. I've made up for lost time by watching it a few times a year since then. They're playing it for free over Labor Day weekend this year, & you can bet your ass I'll be seeing it again. BPST: Ass-a-Blanca (an little inter-racial number where white chicks get pounded by people of color.