I'm quite the mother fucker

sThe Sun-Burned Mother Fucker:
I went to the beach yesterday w/ Stacey & we thought it would be a good idea to do a little skinny dipping. Aside from the fact that I didn't put sun screen on my lower back, it was a good idea (at least it was just my lower back... it could have been much worse). We had a great time floating around in the middle of the lake for 4 hours. Aside from the major burn on my back, the only other problems were the cramp in my leg... I hadn't even eaten w/in the danger time of 20 minutes... & the moment when I lost my suit. It had been affixed to the raft upon which I'd been hanging, but when I suddenly noticed it was gone & then had the realization that the beach was crowded, I understandably freaked out. You might ask why skinning dipping in the first place. Well, the same drunken party that inspired my Mohawk also inspired a great fundraising idea for the pool: after hours adult skinny dipping for 20 bucks a person. Stacey then realized that if that were to happen, she would require the always popular "all over tan." People seemed to love the idea, & when I ran it passed Eric (the pool guy) the other day, he seemed to think it might be alright. I got a good start on the all over tan (other than my lower back which has an all over burn) & I found my suit so no indecency had to occur. It was floating about 15' away. I'm damn lucky it didn't sink.
The Out-of-Shape Mother Fucker:
I went running this morning for the 1st time in quite a while... not counting the running that happens while playing soccer. I was dead in less than a mile. I ended up making a mile & a half, but it wasn't pretty. I used to run 3-4 miles a day, but I suppose it will take a while to get back to that. My 1st inclination was to blame the heat, but who am I foolin'? I'm just in rough shape. I need to pick things up too because I've been tapped to head up an over 30 soccer team to bridge the gap between the Canton over 40s & Jean's team of 20somethings. I think it'd be a lot of fun, but if I can't run for 45 minutes, I don't think it's a good idea. Which means I'll be out there in the heat a lot for the next couple months.
The Hot Mother Fucker:
Speaking of soccer, we've been playing a neighborhood pick-up game on Sunday mornings, but this week was a bit ridiculous. Surprisingly, no one threw up or passed out, but if the temp doesn't let up, I can't make any promises about next week. We played 7v7 for 2 hours & I thought a few of us were going to die. If you hadn't noticed, it's hot as a mother fucker out there this week. I even had to haul the air-conditioner up stairs & hang out in my bedroom w/ it & Mallrats after the game.
The Excited Mother Fucker:
I started the Premier League Fantasy League, The DB2, the other day. As of now, there are 3 teams registered. Jason, you need to get off your ass & do it so as to defend your title. The Purple Cobras will be going down this year just as they're going down in the MLS league. Joining the league is simple, as is maintaining your team, so if any of you would be interested in playing, go here to register & create your team & I'll send you the invitation to the league.