Balls & Ovaries... & the Tigers: The Big Talk

On Tuesday evening, starting during the bottom of the 3rd & running through the top of the 6th inning, we had the Panthers' U10 soccer practice. It was a rainy, crappy, evening. I've always loved playing in that kind of weather, but coaching is another thing all together. Afterwards, I put the ball-bag in the trunk, we dropped another kid off @ his house, & then we headed home. Listening to the game on the radio, we heard that whoever was batting had 2 balls.

Aiden then asked? "What'd that guy on the radio just say?"

Me: "The batter has 2 balls."

Aiden: "I've got a bunch of balls!"

Me: "What do you mean by that?"

Aiden: "In my ball sack!"

Solstice: "HAHAHAHAHA"

Me: "A bunch? How many balls do you think you have?"

Aiden: "I don't know... a ton?"

Solstice: "HAHAHAHAHA"

Me: "Do you really not know?"

Aiden: "No; how should I know?"

At this point, I realized a little science was in order. I proceeded to explain the testicles, the scrotum, and semen.

Solstice: "Scrotum? We call it a ball sack or a nut sack."

Me: "Yeah, I'm aware of those phrases, but the technical term is 'scrotum' or 'scrotal sack.'"

Solstice: "Well, kids these days say ball sack."

Me: "Yes, I understand that; I'm telling you the scientific term for it. Besides, it's not like your generation coined the phrase."

Solstice: "So how come I don't have any balls?"

Me: "Are you kidding?" (I think she may have been kidding.)

Me: "Because you have ovaries."

Solstice: "What are those?"

At this point, I'm pretty sure she was fucking w/ me, but I wasn't positive so I proceeded to explain.

Me: "It's where your eggs are made."

Solstice: "I'm gonna lay an egg???"

Events of the Day

It turns out, "Friend of the Devil" went all the way to the top. Here's the video, but I can't find a video of the interview segment... or the O'Reilly segment. I didn't get to see it today because, while I was actually home & perched in front of my TV, The View was preempted by Obama's speech. I know I should have been more interested in what he had to say, but I just kept hoping it would end so they could get back to The View before The Dead were on.

In other news regarding my inability to see the big picture, 22 people died when a wall collapsed @ a World Cup qualifier in Cote d'Ivore this weekend. I heard about it on Arsenal.com w/ the headline "Tragedy Overshadows Qualifiers" w/ a picture of Kolo Toure (who plays for Ivory Coast & has been captaining Arsenal in Fabregas's stead until he returns from injury). Anyway, I saw the picture & assumed he'd gotten hurt. When I saw what actually happened, the 1st think to go through my head was, "Oh, good... it as just some random people." I'm not proud. Seriously, I'm pretty disturbed by my reaction.

Speaking of reactions, while the rest of the world was enjoying Oberon Day, I was @ Nicola's where I heard this rather one-sided conversation between a woman & her little kid. (By the front of the store, there's a bin of large 4-Square bouncy balls.)
"Hey, look at these balls!
"aren't these great balls?
"Do you like these balls?
"These balls are so soft and squishy!
"Come here and squeeze these balls!
"Don't you just love these balls?
"OOOHHHH, they smell nice too!
"Did you smell the balls?
"Come smell the balls!
"These balls smell so good."

I wanted to shout, "Stop saying balls!!!" but I decided I just had to go to the back of the store and get the Hell out of that situation. That MILF was lovin' balls!